#1
C4C, and don't hold back. Also, post links if you want my review, I'd love to give it.


Escape Route

Intro: Instrumental

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

I need an escape route now more than e’er before.
To get in touch with my roots and learn just who I am.
What to do, Where to go, and Who to be? (tell me now)
What’s the meaning, Why’re we here, and Where are all my answers.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

Give me a one week brake from all responsibility,
And change the forecast to bright blue open skies.
Put a guitar in my hands and a song to sing for now,
I found my escape route and I’ll show you how.

For some it’s money, for others, sadly drugs.
I am not corrupt so baby I choose love.
I learned the trick to being happy is a trade.
One of these days you’ll find out you should do the same.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

To not live life to the full would be a travesty.
Robbin’ fate of all the gems she’s set in stone.
So when I’m through makin’ the most expect me home again.
And I will settle down in good health and good time.

But for now I’ve wanderlust, let me be on my way.
I have seen my escape root as clear as day.
In the mountains in the trees and by the riverside,
Lovin’ life is my new philosophy.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

Outro: Instrumental
Last edited by flashbandit at Feb 24, 2007,
#2
this is rather long, full crit's probably easier to do

Escape Route

Intro: Instrumental

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

The only thing that stuck out for me is the 'hang me up to dry' bit, and I'm not quite sure why...I think it might be because I was expecting the cliche 'hang me out to dry...anyway good start

I need an escape route now more than e’er before.
To get in touch with my roots and learn just who I am.
What to do, Where to go, and Who to be? (tell me now)
What’s the meaning, Why’re we here, and Where are all my answers.

'e'er'? intresting...are we by any chance trying to force this flow? I'm not sure about the 6 questions at the end there, but then I think about it and realise that it might work with the meoldy/pattern you had in your head...not a bad continuation

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

One issue here...should it be 'nerves' rather than 'nerve'? Other than that nothing wrong here

Give me a one week brake from all responsibility,
And change the forecast to bright blue open skies.
Put a guitar in my hands and a song to sing for now,
I found my escape route and I’ll show you how.

Spelling - Break...not too sure about the third line...it seems slightly cliched and cheesy, but then who am i to talk? other than that good

For some it’s money, for others, sadly drugs.
I am not corrupt so baby I choose love.
I learned the trick to being happy is a trade.
One of these days you’ll find out you should do the same.

Now we seem to get some pragmatic meaning...it's a good inclusion and I got the feeling that it maybe should have been put before the stanza above

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

This whole stanza seemed out of place to me. You seem to deviate completely from what you were getting at before...I think it's because the start got me in the mood for 'Kaysarah' (or whatever that song is)

To not live life to the full would be a travesty.
Robbin’ fate of all the gems she’s set in stone.
So when I’m through makin’ the most expect me home again.
And I will settle down in good health and good time.

after the first line, it feels to me like you've started a different song, I don't know why, it might just be the chronological and tense changes, but this stanza also seemed slightly out of place

But for now I’ve wanderlust, let me be on my way.
I have seen my escape root as clear as day.
In the mountains in the trees and by the riverside,
Lovin’ life is my new philosophy.

This stanza seems to slightly contradict the fourth stanza a bit...like the rhyme of trees and philosophy, rather than sticking to end rhymes

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

Unlike before I thought that this stanza is right at home here, it just seems to flow with the song a bit better

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

Not sure I would have included this stanza but it depends what message you want to leave with

Outro: Instrumental

Overall a solid piece that just needs a few tweaks rather than a major upheaval of any sort...a high 8/10

PS if you get chance could you have a look at mine "Bella Donna" cheers
#3
Very good. Sometimes the flow got a bit sketchy around certain stanzas, and the rhyming was kinda off at times, but overall it was very good. I'd definitely give it a 7/10, because throughout the entire song you stayed along the same lines.

Great job, keep on writing.
#4
Ok, crit 4 crit, here I go.

Escape Route

Intro: Instrumental

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

I think you meant "chose", not "choose", but it doesn't rly matter lol. This is a nice start, I like it. I like the rhyme of the 2nd and the 4th line, it's simple but it sounds good.


I need an escape route now more than e’er before.
To get in touch with my roots and learn just who I am.
What to do, Where to go, and Who to be? (tell me now)
What’s the meaning, Why’re we here, and Where are all my answers.

I loved the 3rd line, but the 4th one not so much. Maybe it's too many questions all put together and the idea'd be much more effective in the 3rd line only.

But if you do want to go on with the same idea in the 4th line, I think you should change it so that it rhymes with the 2nd one. You already used the 2nd-4th rhyme in the first part, so it would sound nice if you went on with it. Idk, that fourth line doesn't sound completely right to me.


Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

I really really liked this. The first two lines, I loved them. Again I have a bit of a problem with the 4th line, but I'm realising now, the rhyme probably doesn't sound good to me because Idk the melody of the song. I should hear it being played.

Give me a one week brake from all responsibility,
And change the forecast to bright blue open skies.
Put a guitar in my hands and a song to sing for now,
I found my escape route and I’ll show you how.

This sounds great. You've used the word "skies" again, however I would hesitate to change it because this last part sounds awesome, probably the best stanza so far.

I think "a song to sing now" would go better with the flow than "a song to sing for now".


For some it’s money, for others, sadly drugs.
I am not corrupt so baby I choose love.
I learned the trick to being happy is a trade.
One of these days you’ll find out you should do the same.

This stanza sounds great as well. The two last verses=awesome, much better than the first part of the song. Good sign, it gets better.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

I'd rephrase the first line, like this - "When I was little momma told me, 'Don't worry about such things'" I think it goes better with the flow but, again, I'd have to hear it. Other than that, it sounds good.

To not live life to the full would be a travesty.
Robbin’ fate of all the gems she’s set in stone.
So when I’m through makin’ the most expect me home again.
And I will settle down in good health and good time.

Nothing to say here, I think, except maybe that I agree with Burpbelly, this stanza does seem a bit out of place.

But for now I’ve wanderlust, let me be on my way.
I have seen my escape root as clear as day.
In the mountains in the trees and by the riverside,
Lovin’ life is my new philosophy.

Great, loved it. Maybe consider "My new philosophy is lovin' life" instead of "Lovin' life is my new philosophy". It would rhyme better imo, but Idk, just an idea here.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

Hm, these lyrics are rly long so maybe you don't need to repeat verses. Repeating the "I feel lost in a world..." stanza sounds nice, the song started with it so it's a good idea to end with it. The "When I was little momma..." verse, however, I think it sounds more effective if you only say it once.

Outro: Instrumental

Over all, I really really liked the lyrics, there are some great rhymes, you developed the idea very well, and it's a song I'd like to hear being played. You'd just have to rephrase some lines to make the whole thing sound better, and maybe change a couple of things, especially the 4th lines, many of them didn't quite work for me, but like I said, I'd have to hear the melody. Conclusion: Good job!! 4/5
Got too deep but - how deep is too deep?

FOUNDER OF THE ARCTIC MONKEYS FAN CLUB PM me to join.
#5
I just read what SchitzoJoe wrote, that's exactly what I meant about the rhyming and the 4th lines. You read my mind lol, I didn't know precisely how to put it.
Got too deep but - how deep is too deep?

FOUNDER OF THE ARCTIC MONKEYS FAN CLUB PM me to join.
#6
I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.i was thinking about putting 'from' at the start of this line
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

I need an escape route now more than e’er before.e'er?
To get in touch with my roots and learn just who I am.
What to do, Where to go, and Who to be? (tell me now)
What’s the meaning, Why’re we here, and Where are all my answers.
probly just me, but the last line seemed a bit too long

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.
nice chorus, simple rhyme scheme, but its still good

Give me a one week brake from all responsibility,
And change the forecast to bright blue open skies.
Put a guitar in my hands and a song to sing for now,
I found my escape route and I’ll show you how.
last 2 lines are kinda to easy of rhymes,now,how.

For some it’s money, for others, sadly drugs.
I am not corrupt so baby I choose love.
I learned the trick to being happy is a trade.
One of these days you’ll find out you should do the same.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little,momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

To not live life to the full would be a travesty.
Robbin’ fate of all the gems she’s set in stone.
So when I’m through makin’ the most expect me home again.little too long
And I will settle down in good health and good time.

But for now I’ve wanderlust, let me be on my way.
I have seen my escape root as clear as day.
In the mountains in the trees and by the riverside,
Lovin’ life is my new philosophy.
little repeating, u kinda said same thing earlyier

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

i like how u reused to first verse as the ending


ok, its long, and in some of ur verses i feel thier not exactly needed, cuz u kinda repeat the same stuff. so i would make it shorter.if u dont want to, thats fine. some lines were confusing to read, cuz u didnt have any commas, like this one...


"A labyrinth that some choose to call life.i was thinking about putting 'from' at the start of this line
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

I need an escape route now more than e’er before.e'er?
To get in touch with my roots and learn just who I am.
What to do, Where to go, and Who to be? (tell me now)
What’s the meaning, Why’re we here, and Where are all my answers.
probly just me, but the last line seemed a bit too long

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.
nice chorus, simple rhyme scheme, but its still good

Give me a one week brake from all responsibility,
And change the forecast to bright blue open skies.
Put a guitar in my hands and a song to sing for now,
I found my escape route and I’ll show you how.
last 2 lines are kinda to easy of rhymes,now,how.

For some it’s money, for others, sadly drugs.
I am not corrupt so baby I choose love.
I learned the trick to being happy is a trade.
One of these days you’ll find out you should do the same.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little,momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

To not live life to the full would be a travesty.
Robbin’ fate of all the gems she’s set in stone.
So when I’m through makin’ the most expect me home again.little too long
And I will settle down in good health and good time.

But for now I’ve wanderlust, let me be on my way.
I have seen my escape root as clear as day.
In the mountains in the trees and by the riverside,
Lovin’ life is my new philosophy.
little repeating, u kinda said same thing earlyier

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things."

use a comma after little.other than that, i liked it, i liked how u used clever rhymes, nice job on that, overal, 8/10.


crit heart frequency if u could,in my sig
#7
I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
Anything is a bit vague, and you don't seem to elaborate on it's antecedent (per say). You may want to specify more on what 'anything' pertains to, if you do, it'll give the reader/listener a better idea what the song is about.
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!
Hmm... I have a problem with this line. It's really predictable, the 'fly and escape' thing has been done so many times, it's practically dead imagery and filler. Surely, you can think of a more original way to express and convey this idea. Escape on it's own is fine, the last part is the main problem. It's messing everything else up. 1) It's really juvenile sounding. Too simple and elementary for this song. Cliche almost. 2) It doesn't, to me anyway, match the rest of the verse's tone. You seem to change voice there. It's a bit distracting and odd, which, inevitably, messes with the flow. I guess it may be forced, for rhyming sakes. Don't worry about whether or not it rhymes, just keep the lines of good quality.

I need an escape route now more than e’er before.
You've just used escape. Try not to use the same word twice. Especially when you have no specific parallel structure or reference going. Be creative with word choice.
To get in touch with my roots and learn just who I am.
The second part of this line is redundant, it says the exact same thing the first part said, but with different (blander) terminology. I suggest taking that out and putting new info in it's place. Keep it interesting without repetition.
What to do, Where to go, and Who to be? (tell me now)
Like the questions. Very intriguing.
What’s the meaning, Why’re we here, and Where are all my answers.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
Forced rhyming perhaps? This line is very boring compared to the previous one. You have an interesting word choice and an unique voice, and then you follow it up with a considerably weaker line that seemed to have been intended to carry some weight with it. It's not really receiving the attention and emphasis I think it needs.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
Is it supposed to be root? Interesing play on words if so, if not... well, I'll just go with the former choice. If you're going to use escape in the chorus, I suggest that you, by no means, use it in the verses. It takes the punch out of it, and seems to drag the chorus, which should have the most emphasis and weight, down to the verses which aren't as important. It won't really stand out as well, to me, if you use the same repetitive vocab here that you're using with the verses.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

Give me a one week brake from all responsibility,
I think you mean 'break'. Just throwing it out there.
And change the forecast to bright blue open skies.
Already used skies.
Put a guitar in my hands and a song to sing for now,
I found my escape route and I’ll show you how.
Okay, I think the use of escape, if used in the same context like this, will definitely work and tie the stanzas together. Just be sure to keep them in the same context or it'll come off as word repetition.
For some it’s money, for others, sadly drugs.
I am not corrupt so baby I choose love.
Okay, here you seemed to suddenly tell us that you're singing to an actual person (Your baby.), without even dropping a few hints of it before. It seems to me, like the reader/listener, is suddenly hit with baby and, for a second, they'll be thinking 'Who the hell... baby...?' Try to put a sign earlier in the song to show that you are singing to one specific person instead of the broad audience implied from the first stanzas.
I learned the trick to being happy is a trade.
One of these days you’ll find out you should do the same.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

Nice break from the other verses. I like it.

To not live life to the full would be a travesty.
Robbin’ fate of all the gems she’s set in stone.
So when I’m through makin’ the most, expect me home again.
And I will settle down in good health and good time.

Don't really have any complaints here, except now I'm thinking of this as a country song now. Don't know why, I just am.

But for now I’ve wanderlust, let me be on my way.
I have seen my escape root as clear as day.
In the mountains in the trees and by the riverside,
Lovin’ life is my new philosophy.

Nice subtle rhyming here.

Chorus:
I think I’ve found which way the pressure lies.
Take me out to the ocean or the skies.
I need an escape root to calm my nerve.
It’s an emergency and I think I’ve found the cure.

When I was little momma told me not to worry ‘bout such things.
“Just find peace in yourself look for answers someplace else.”
“They’ll evade you ‘till the end, so escape trouble live again”
… … … Live again!

I feel I’m lost in a world without anything,
A labyrinth that some choose to call life.
Hang me up to dry or drag me out to the curb.
I will escape anyways, I think I can fly!

I don't like the repeat of the last verse, it seems to sort of pull the song backwards, in my opinion.

Overall, this isn't bad. I like the idea and you obviously know how to write, so I expect one hell of a revision. I hope I wasn't too harsh, didn't mean to be.
GJ, man.
Cause I love feelin' dirty
And I love feelin' cheap
And I love it when you hurt me
So drive those staples deep