#1
Why do we look so good

While we kick mic stands down

And sing into the ground?

You'd better turn away now

It's just a show

God knows

There's no meanings allowed



Quick!

Close your eyes now

We're about to turn the amps down

And get you all figured out



You'll be there for the next one

Because you can't help but love what we've done




You ain't got shit figured out, so get back to alphabet before you write yourself down.
#2
Wow dude that was nice. This is not a proper crit because i cant see anything wrong with it. It was absolutely awesome. Good work.
#4
Thanks, guys. I believe this is the first time I've gotten a good response on here, it's nice little change.

Anyone else? I would actually like a real critique.
(no offense to you two)
Last edited by SixTwentySeven at Feb 25, 2007,
#5
Hey lol, sorry about that, but the reason I didn't crit was the same as the dude above me, it was perfect...
#6
Before I start, remove the spaces between every ****ing line!

It was good. No discernable rhyme scheme, but it still flowed alright. Try counting syllable length though. And write another verse, it was too short. I commend you for writing a song about the topic of performing though. I've tried myself before and just found it impossible to make a song out of.

That's all I've got on this.
I play by my own rules. And I have one rule; There are no rules... but if there are, they're there to be broken. Even this one.


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#7
I was just going to say the spacing was a bit wierd, but OMG that would be so amazing for hardcore lyrics.. I dunno if you listen to that but you would do AWESOME with writing lyrics like that, it's like rebellious(I couldnt think of a good adjective) but on a much more intelligent level.
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