#1
At 8:00 p.m. yesterday, February 22, young Tad Walker’s hopes of ever getting closer to his crush Cindy were shattered as he was removed from Cindy’s “Top 8” friends on the popular networking site “Myspace.com”.

Tad, who had been crushing on Cindy ever since freshman year, was deeply hurt by the news. “I was devastated”, said Tad, who proceeded to ponder cutting himself while listening to Dashboard Confessional but pussied out at the last second. “I just don’t know what I could have done to make her do something like that”.

Tad was surprised to hear about the incident, as he had been working hard on getting Cindy to like him by making eye contact with her and then quickly turning away, offering her mint gum, and following her to math class. Said Tad, “I thought we were close, I mean, I nod at her all the time in the hallway, and I always comment on her pics”. When asked about the tragedy through e-mail, Cindy responded, “i had 2 do it, hes leik, so creepy, and he alwayzzzz smells my hair, I just put him up theiyr just 2 be nice”.

Tad plans on spending his weeks climbing up the social ladder to get back on Cindy’s Top 8.
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I was reading The Onion and thought I would take a crack at writing a satirical fake news article. Seeing as how I hate Myspace and I go to high school, I thought I would write something like what's above.
Last edited by JeffWiredBeck24 at Feb 25, 2007,
#4
Quote by The Casualty
MySpace is where I go to look at little kids.


x/taluha's long lost uncle?!
Praise be unto You,
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Creator of all

Stripper factories
And beer volcanoes await
In the afterlife
RAmen
#5
Quote by MarkPlaysStuff
x/taluha's long lost uncle?!


Rude.
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#7
thats where Vincent745 goes to look at little kids
Quote by Yagushgi
It should be legal to kill each other. That'd put an end to debates and forums like this AND help with population control.
Quote by Vincent745
stfu you stupid ass cracker. go eat some chocolate ass cream.

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#10
Quote by CarlShahuesa
thats where Vincent745 goes to look at little kids

hehehe good times...to bad its closed now :-(
#11
Haha, that was great. Especially Cindys comment on the matter, I liked that.
if you have belief in ur soul and jesus you can do anything
#12
Quote by MarkPlaysStuff
x/taluha's long lost uncle?!

And that is a good burn!

It's great because it connects with people on a personal level about recent news, Damn fine job!
#14


yeah Myspace is like emo central
"There are millions of people in the world, and none of those people are an extra. They're all leads in their own stories."
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#17
Yeah once myspace tried to grab my bum and I was all like "Hey!" and it was like "you like it!"
#18
tad is a dumbass.
and he has a stupid name.
<ChristianHardcoreRox> imagine
<ChristianHardcoreRox> a DINOSAUR
<ChristianHardcoreRox> all up in yo face like whas good, nigga
#20
Quote by JeffWiredBeck24

I was reading The Onion and thought I would take a crack at writing a satirical fake news article. Seeing as how I hate Myspace and I go to high school, I thought I would write something like what's above.



i was just about to say..that sounds like something coming directly from the onion

Whodicted



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france is laaaaame


Recognized by the Official EG/GG&A Who To Listen To List 2009
#21
That was.....

Actually pretty good, one of the best things written by a UGer I have ever seen, and thats deffinatly a compliment*. I salute you.

Sorry, its late
We spent a lifetime on the
Beaches of Normandy in vain


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oooh look at me, i'm clincher, internet tough guy


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When Nostradamus predicted badassery, he spoke of clincher09.


<//////> ~


UG's NIN fan club
Last edited by clincher09 at Feb 25, 2007,
#22
Quote by clincher09
That was.....

Actually pretty good, one of the best things written by a UGer I have ever seen, and thats deffinatly a comment. I salute you.


Why thank you. I might actually try writing some more now. I love The Onion, and my hatred for myspace inspired me to write that.
#23
lol I liked that
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You guys are forgetting the most important part of sounding like Alexi.
Yao Yao
#24
The Onion FTW
I'm from Wisconsin so I get that paper a lot and the podcast thinger.

We, (meaning UG) should hold an Onion arcticle contest!
#27
Quote by metalfan#3
Psht, take it to the relationship thread.


Psht you clearly didn't read what's below the article.