Page 1 of 2
#1
Found this article while wondering through another forum. I beleive it's supossed to point out the sterotypes of people in the metal world. Some of it's actually true though so I found it pretty funny. Except the death metal part So, if you have some time read through it, good for some cheap entertainment I think. http://www.epinions.com/content_4241531012
FAN OF EMPEROR ?

Quote by Magero
Theres more of us it wont be long before we you over the world and you can burn all the churchs you want


I'm MAD about Black Metal. Ask me about Church Burnings.
#4
haha, nice, i like the whole nu-metal part, and how no girls like death metal guys..."you will NOT get chicks playing death metal" (good thing i dont play death metal)
#6
Your singer should be able to shatter glass - if not, feed him helium or kick him in the nads. Lol
#7
Quote by Black Metal
The first is to try and be as grim and "nekro" as possible - in that case, you must write about a million songs, record them in your garage on a cassette so it sounds like you play in a garbage can, and then instantly burn any evidence that the recording ever took place and kill anyone that witnessed it. If people outside the band have heard it, you are no longer kvlt.

That's just great stuff.
#10
"3/4 of the band MUST wear cargo shorts at all times, regardless of weather. Even if you're playing at an ourdoor festival in Siberia in January"
#11
Okay. It was pretty funny. I lol'd in the part about power metal.
If you are reading this, you fail at life. Go cut yourself and save yourself more misery.

Quote by Antartica.
What do you think about Opeths soft singer, do you think they need that vocalist or is that wut makes them Opeth?
#12
Pretty good 4/5.
Member of The Bass Militia. PM DinkyDaisy to join.
Co-Founding member of the Save the Funk club. PM jimmypage27 or me to join.
Founding Member of "Using gay as an insult proclaims your idiocy" club.
Member #11 of the UG RIP Cliff Burton Club
#14
"Thrash bands will generally get a good number of chicks, especially when they sell out after their 4th album or so and cut their hair"



Thanks for posting it!

Edit:

"If your guitarists can't palm mute and play random note solos at 180bpm, you must find a new genre immediately."

Last edited by -Alek- at Feb 25, 2007,
#15
About Prog:

Also remember that anyone who doesn't like your music does not have a valid point - they are just unable to comprehend the brilliance of your music. Those weak minded fools.


its funny cause its true.
#19
Quote by SGRocker0791
Lmao at how true the Doom Metal part is.

I know right?

I loved the power and progressive sections.
Quote by shattamakar
The only advantage of home-schooling is that it gives you good reason to commit suicide.


Hit this once or twice, and you'll be twice as nice.
#22
Quote by Power Metal
Your singer should be able to shatter glass - if not, feed him helium or kick him in the nads.


Lol.
I've found Jesus
#23
Old, but I Lold.
Get baked, study theory.

Quote by :-D
Why are you bringing Cm into this?
#24
Lollers
Dyer's Eve is awesome, and has an abnormally large penis, which doesn't act as any hinderance to his everyday life despite its freakishly large size.
For unrivaled obedience, user King_ofKumbucha is awarded this spot of honor.
#25
Quote by CaptainOfSmug
Found this article while wondering through another forum. I beleive it's supossed to point out the sterotypes of people in the metal world. Some of it's actually true though so I found it pretty funny. Except the death metal part So, if you have some time read through it, good for some cheap entertainment I think. http://www.epinions.com/content_4241531012


The death metal one is spot on, I loved it.
#26
hahahha nice
Quote by jthm_guitarist
Don't go to college, start a metal band and go on tour.

Quote by (...)

My fate is clear. I must die for metal.
#28
W00t

Us folk metallers were like the only people with no insults thrown at us. Also, not as many as usual for power metal.
#29
Quote by Rise_Againstme!
haha, nice, i like the whole nu-metal part, and how no girls like death metal guys..."you will NOT get chicks playing death metal" (good thing i dont play death metal)

i know chicks that love death metal... and part of that thing was untrue
IF YOU WANT PEACE PREPARE FOR WAR!!


R.I.P. Dimebag Darrell



A recent study shows that 92% of all teenagers have moved on to rap music. Put this in your profile if you are one of the 8% who stayed with the real music
#30
Quote by deathmetalboy
i know chicks that love death metal... and part of that thing was untrue


I bet theyre ugly as shit.
Quote by Rockstar12345
One does not simply walk onto a Chav's lawn
#31
Death
Death vocals are pretty challenging, so start working on your growl now, champ. You are forbidden to use any tuning above D (unless you're Opeth, but a lot of the community hates them). 3/4 of the band MUST wear cargo shorts at all times, regardless of weather.


WTF?!?!? Very few people I know hate Opeth.

There are a few things that are funny but he shouldn't give up the day job.
Quote by Spynal

Man, if only we could have a thread dedicated to recommendations, that would be sweet. Maybe, we could call it ... The Hugfest .... no, that's no good? Metal-O-Rama? Nah.... oh wait.

I've got it...
The Official Metal Recommendation Thread
#33
Oh, I forgot the ironic implication.

Probably because like I said it's not really that funny.
Quote by Spynal

Man, if only we could have a thread dedicated to recommendations, that would be sweet. Maybe, we could call it ... The Hugfest .... no, that's no good? Metal-O-Rama? Nah.... oh wait.

I've got it...
The Official Metal Recommendation Thread
#34
I bet theyre ugly as shit.


Any hole's a Goal.
Member of The Bass Militia. PM DinkyDaisy to join.
Co-Founding member of the Save the Funk club. PM jimmypage27 or me to join.
Founding Member of "Using gay as an insult proclaims your idiocy" club.
Member #11 of the UG RIP Cliff Burton Club
#35
my favorite part "A member of your band must also either commit suicide, murder somebody, be killed by a fellow band member, or just leave and form a successful side project - anything will suffice. Unless you enjoy doing so, never, EVER play live. In fact, don't leave your house." thats great

and all of that is true
Quote by unfathomable_bo
Well it isnt hard to bend a string that has the tension of a piece of well cooked spaghetti, especially when you have hands like goalkeeper gloves


My songs: (more to come) (C4C's)
Screams fell silent underneath the black sun
#36
Quote by jesusgonewrong
Any hole's a Goal.



This is where a plastic bag comes in handy...
Quote by Rockstar12345
One does not simply walk onto a Chav's lawn
#38
A member of your band must also either commit suicide, murder somebody, be killed by a fellow band member, or just leave and form a successful side project.




and Lol @ the death metal cargo camo pants.
Most of the important things


in the world have been accomplished


by people who have kept on


trying when there seemed to be no hope at all
#39
"Anything involving sexual acts with dead bodies will earn you points with the underground as well (wow, that was an awkward pun)."

that was funny.
--
...and the world sighed in relief
Page 1 of 2