#1
Okay so I am writing a song which i want to contrast the moods in a relationship from being really frustrated to perfectly content. but i'm not sure if the way i transitioned from the verse to the chorus is just too weird or not. and i don't want to waste tons of time doing it the way i am right now if people will just be like "what? that doesn't go together?" so perhaps any opinions on if it flows or how to improve the transition from verse to chorus.


its called "I Wonder How It is"

www.purevolume.com/anie
Last edited by anOnyMouSanIe at Feb 25, 2007,
#2
naaah i think the transition's alright. i wish that part was longer though, but it is a demo anyway. or maybe have it as it is, as sort of a preview and then later on have a chorus like that where it's longer. you know? i kinda like those odd times and time signature changes though so i might be biased. it's pretty catchy too, the kids woud it eat it up, to quote that thing.

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=532270
#4
You mean making the chorus a bit longer? Yeah, i think that is a good idea i'm just not sure of the lyrics so far so it isn't long. and i agree that the end part should have a pause it does seem a little rushed. i'm just glad the transition from verse to chorus isn't throwing people off... i wanted it to sound different but not to the point where it sounds like two different songs. thanks for the crits and i shall return them.
Last edited by anOnyMouSanIe at Feb 26, 2007,
#6
if you want to make a transistion with two contrasting feelings, then go for it. if thats what youre feeling at the the moment, then chances are there are other people out there thinking the same thing. and thats what musics about. let them hear it.

got a minute?
>> https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=534929
#7
Wow sorry fopr taking so long to crit this.

I really like your voice, although in some parts it sounds like the new found glory's singer..whether you take that as a compliment or an insult i'll leave it to you.

I quite liked it, be nice if it was longer. The opening riff reminded of an Everlast song, but I can't remember what ti was called, it's good though

The lead could be spiced up alittle bit at the end, but it still fits and sounds good with the rythm guitar.

Needs a little touching up, but I still like it.
.Brand New.Bright Eyes.This Will Destroy You.

THRRRRRRRREADKILLER!
#8
thanks for the crit

I liked the guitar alot, could change it up a little bit more. And your vocals fit the song. A little nazaly though. But overall great job.