#1
hi there - newest song. Hope you like

left naked in a ditch
Or maybe an unmarked grave
Weeping softly into the night
Knowing you cant be saved

I gave him love, I gave him flesh
I left all I had for this
But to him I was a replacement hand
He lied to me with his kiss

(chorus)
Raped in body, raped in mind
Love stolen, cut and laid bare
Willingly led to the slaughter
Butchered without a care.

He was special, you can say that again
A wolf in sheep’s fur
Looking for sex, looking to mate
With a trusting kitten who would purr

It’s the same in every country,
To them it’s just a game
To them it’s just a simple pleasure
Every time it ends the same

(chorus)

I stand, I walk, I howl in pain
I’m infected with his disease
Infected in body, infected in mind
Left with a deformity no one see’s

12 years on, living alone
No money, No care, chilled to the bone
Drawing the knife, in an apartment alone
Last words, a relieved moan

thanks for readying. any suggestions?
#2
It’s the same in every country,
To them it’s just a game
To them it’s just a simple pleasure
Every time it ends the same

bolded line is little bit forced alter it some thing like that

for a little bit pleasure

so that it soesn't seem forced and avoids erepitition of "To them it's just a" and add a bit of flow to it

other then that its good

i liked best


12 years on, living alone
No money, No care, chilled to the bone
Drawing the knife, in an apartment alone
Last words, a relieved moan
Hi
#5
It’s the same in every country,
To them it’s just a game
pleasure for them, guilt for us
Every time it ends the same



now its better
Hi
#7
if you are free may be you can crit my new song Smell this rose, rest under the sun.
Hi