#1
Here are some of my new love poems. Hope you like them. Criticism is greatly appreciated.

One:

At first, you were occulted,
Now, you are greatly wanted,
I just want you for dinner,
You’d make me feel like a winner.
I know what you think,
And I know,
That you have no idea,
No idea how much I like you.
Neither do I actually.
Should we find out together?
I will like you forever,
I hope it’s not just me.
You make me feel like new,
You remind me of Thea,
Please don’t ask me to go.

Two:

Sorry, I had no time,
Just one look at your face,
Oh what a crime,
Let’s get out of this place.
I get such a good feeling,
Every time I see you,
You give my heart a healing,
Oh if you only knew.
Sorry we couldn’t talk,
I hope you still like me,
Please don’t go away,
Don’t walk, and don’t run,
Please stay,
And we will have fun.
I don’t mean it like that,
Not in a sexual way,
We could just chat,
Our friendship will never stray.

Three:

Please ask him to leave,
So it will be just the two of us,
I will make you believe,
That you have the love I possess.
If only you were told,
That your hair is better than gold,
Would you like me more?
Do you even like me now?
Will we talk like never before?
My only question is how.

....................................................

What do you think? I personally think they are quite cliche, so i will try and fix them up if anybody else thinks the same. Crit for crit if you would like.

#2
Those are very good. like you said a little bit cliche but they are well written.

For the first one the only line that doesn't seem to go is : Neither do I actually. If it's a love poem and your saying you'll like her forever how can you not know? other than that I like it a lot.

In the second poem i really liek the line you give my heart a healing it sounds great. Also, the lines I don’t mean it like that,
Not in a sexual way,
We could just chat,
Our friendship will never stray.
are good, but seem a little off because you talk about the good feeling when you see her face and your hearts healing, and while being friends is a good thing but doesn't really fit in the love poem.

For the third one all I can say is in the line: Do you even like me now? the even is not really needed and seems to take away fro mthe flow.

I am no professional so this is just my opinion/observation so take it for what it's worth. Feel free to crit mine

Good luck keep writing.
#3
Awesome man thanks a lot, too bad i already let the girl whom these poems were written read them eh? . But thanks buddy.