#1
Usually, I try not to be so blatant in any message I try to convey. But I hate being judged because of my beliefs

Cutting The Strings

When all that's left is flame
I shall lay myself down to die
And when all the crack have been filled
I will learn this is a solid wall of lie

And if there's a hell
I will burn it
If there's a heaven
Then let it die
I hope this all will burn to ashes
Cuz I will not live this lie

And you can stand on your hollow phrases
Andyou can watch for your signs
You can claim you know the fire
And you can all die, watching your lives go by

The mother of the father
The father killed the son
By smothering the hopes and dreams
And letting him become undone
And hang your children out to dry
Forget your responsibilities
And pretend to be a supreme one
Well, say hello, to a supreme disappointment

And if there's a hell
I will burn it
If there's a heaven
I'll watch it die
I hope this all just burns to ashes
Because I refuse to live your lie

And when all that's left is flame
I shall lay myself down to die

"And I will make myself void of all your faiths,
I will lift myself above this, and I will become numb."
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!
#2
Quote by Schizopathic
Usually, I try not to be so blatant in any message I try to convey. But I hate being judged because of my beliefs

Cutting The Strings

When all that's left is flame
I shall lay myself down to die
And when all the crack have been filled
I will learn this is a solid wall of lie

And if there's a hell
I will burn it
If there's a heaven
Then let it die
I hope this all will burn to ashes "a little bit forced"
Cuz I will not live this lie

try maybe "i am sick of living a lie" helps to flow a bit

And you can stand on your hollow phrases
Andyou can watch for your signs

try that
So that you can watch your signs


You can claim you know the fire
And you can all die, watching your lives go by

this seems forced


The mother of the father
The father killed the son
By smothering the hopes and dreams
And letting him become undone
And hang your children out to dry
Forget your responsibilities
And pretend to be a supreme one
Well, say hello, to a supreme disappointment first 4 lines are ok but last 2 lines are bit forced


And if there's a hellI will burn it
If there's a heaven
I'll watch it die
I hope this all just burns to ashes
Because I refuse to live your lie

And when all that's left is flame
I shall lay myself down to die

"And I will make myself void of all your faiths,
I will lift myself above this, and I will become numb."


i noticed that you used "And " alot . try using them as least as u can because it's mainly used to connect two seprate sentences and excess use of it hampers to flow a bit and is a bit childish


Anyway what kind of music you are planning

if you can plz crit my new song
Hi
#3
I have noticed that I use "and " quite a bit in all my stuff. I think that's just the way it somes out with I write it, when i'm thinking it in my mind.
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!