I am taking a poetry class right now in college so I have been writing a lot of poetry lately (way more than songs), though this has more song elements to it then a poem does (just for moderaters info- this isnt a post looking for help on homework. (though i dont think this forum cares, some others that i frequently go to do))

Fatherly love
Your loving hand like a shooting star
Usually seen from afar
Traveling across this dull gray sky
Watching as you fly by
Gone are the days you held me close
Preceded with sniffing coke
The yearly party was my life you ditched
Scars upon mothers face
Her lips were never your favorite taste
Your heart was parallel to Mr. Grinch
Creating a life no one would wish
Wanting to believe who you’re not
Never able to grasp your thoughts
Flashing by my sky
Was the best before you died.
Sorry for pulling this old thread up, but I am thinking of turning this in for some extra credit to try and get it published, so I was hoping you could give me some feedback. Thanks