#1
hi! this is a song that i wrote literaly five minutes ago from the top of my head to try out a new way of writing songs. i would very much apreciate it if you would read it and leave a comment. critisisom welcome and im sorry about thee spelling...

when i think to myself
all the words that you said
that one that you used, which fused in my head
was a potentual for something

just end with a maybe
never letting go, still not holding on
a waiting game that delays the rain
please dont part with a no way
or a merciful offer

you smile at me, refuse my calls
like me hate me, play me on
but forever ill try to tip a scale
with little hope, frown or smile

you walk away, i hate this way
fall apart and repair again
all for one word, a possibility
with that word inspiration follows
a stream of hope that could prevail

just end with a maybe
never letting go, still not holding on
a waiting game that delays the rain
please dont part with a no way
or a merciful offer

then how how do i know that the word you throw
is not a laugh, just a game to feed me shame?
i will never know, maybe yes maybe no
but one things for certain...

ill ask you again, again and again
#2
I like parts, but i'm not to fussed about the structure, seems a little off in places.

And I don't like the chorus, it just doesn't get to me, but it does have potential


"you walk away, i hate this way
fall apart and repair again
all for one word, a possibility
with that word inspiration follows
a stream of hope that could prevail"

I like that, brings the hope through