#1
Yea. Figured I'd drop by with a piece I wrote after a dream I had. Not great, but...hey writer's block is a bitch anyways.

C4C.

Crash.

My feelings for you can only be described as if we were both at an air show.
I'd take off from the landing strip into an open-ended sky.
A bright pink stunt plane.
Vertically spiraling upwards creating the appearance of a balloon let go from a 6 year old's hand.
Words written amongst the clouds. "What does that read father?" asks a child from the crowd.
"It reads, 'I love you' but the pilot wrote it upside-down. He's one of the worst I've ever seen."
Coming in for a low-swoop, appealing to all the gasps and cheers, I notice your face quickly acknowledge mine.
Through my greasy, black goggles I wished that my eyes could just slow down the time.

"This time she'll say yes for sure. She has to." the pilot exclaimed as he darted back up into the sky. Your presence forces me to do the most amazing backflips and barrel rolls that the sun has ever seen. I know that you're smiling out of amazement on the ground. You'd have to be.

Suddenly, a sputter and black smoke emits from the tailpipe of the plane. The crowd thought it was a new effect, I knew my flight was in vain.
My tank indicator began to embrace the E.
Stuck upside-down in a backflip. Not even worth trying to land this damned thing.

So as I free-fell from the sky, I ran my fingers across Nicole....my faithful for to her I was bound.
"I hope I impressed you," was the pilot's last muttered words.

"For everyone else will be impressed only when I crash into the ground."
Can You Fill In The Blanks?
#2
I actually like it.
--"Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride."--
#4
Thanks guys. Ill be returning your stuff now.
Can You Fill In The Blanks?
#5
Crash.

My feelings for you can only be described as if we were both at an air show.
This sentence is a little awkward, but like most of us, it's lovable even at its awkwardest point.
I'd take off from the landing strip into an open-ended sky.
I'm sure you can come up with something better than "open-ended."
A bright pink stunt plane.
Vertically spiraling upwards creating the appearance of a balloon let go from a 6 year old's hand.
Words written amongst the clouds. "What does that read father?" asks a child from the crowd.
"It reads, 'I love you' but the pilot wrote it upside-down. He's one of the worst I've ever seen."
I adore this dialogue.
Coming in for a low-swoop, appealing to all the gasps and cheers, I notice your face quickly acknowledge mine.
"Quickly" may not be the right word there. The right word there might be none at all.
Through my greasy, black goggles I wished that my eyes could just slow down the time.
Your phrasing is a little off here...the action of wishing didn't come through the goggles.

"This time she'll say yes for sure. She has to." the pilot exclaimed as he darted back up into the sky. Your presence forces me to do the most amazing backflips and barrel rolls that the sun has ever seen. I know that you're smiling out of amazement on the ground. You'd have to be.Should this last part be in quotation marks? The two voices (the pilot and the narrator) are getting muddled here.

Suddenly, a sputter and black smoke emits from the tailpipe of the plane. The crowd thought it was a new effect, I knew my flight was in vain.
My tank indicator began to embrace the E.
Nice
Stuck upside-down in a backflip. Not even worth trying to land this damned thing.

So as I free-fell from the sky, I ran my fingers across Nicole....my faithful for to her I was bound.
The last couple words are kind of queer. I don't know whether including her name was a good choice or not.
"I hope I impressed you," was the pilot's last muttered words.
"Were."

"For everyone else will be impressed only when I crash into the ground."
Good ending. I like how it implies that maybe that's the only thing that will impress her as well.
#6
I thought the first line sucked, and a few other ones too, but other than that I liked it. Even though the metaphor is a bit overused. Better word choice would really smoothen out some parts, some line breaks here and there. In other places, there are just too many adjectives.
Like:

"I hope I impressed you," was the pilot's last muttered words.

IMO it would sound better if it was just "the pilot muttered". I'm just being really picky about this line because I couldn't stand it, and it sort of ruined the ending for me.

Overall, nothing extraordinary, but I still enjoyed this. It's always pretty awesome when you can remember a dream long enough to write it down somewhere.
There is no place else to go
The theater is closed