Poll: Which gets your vote?
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View poll results: Which gets your vote?
Red
8 57%
Green
6 43%
Voters: 14.
#1
2 points up for Grabs...


heart frequency

Look now,my heart lay
beating at half measure,steadily.
Waiting for yours to pick up beat
and let our hearts ring
into the same frequency,
and so others hear them play.
When all it really is,
is the sound of our lives
beating simultaneously.


or

when I was younger
and more naive
I thought I could see my heart
beat through my chest

now when I look down
I see no movement
apart from her head
gently nodding

sometimes I wish
I had never grown up
that way I could still smile
over my beating heart.
#2
It seems that all anyone can do on the subject of hearts is describe their beating or breaking. In this case it's the former, and it was overused again. For that reason, i have to be honest, i don't rate either of these. I don't really know which one to pick, as they're both pretty equal... oh hell, red, just because the ending was poor on green.
#6
Synth needs to SEND ME A DAMN CHAMPIONSHIP BELT PIECE!!! The only thing I can do to get it atm would be to fly to portland and kick the shit out of him, cause I could...then steal a piece.

I haven't deceided yet, green is overall better structured, but for me, red is more my tastes.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#7
synth also owes me a critique. Wanna place bets on who gets theirs first?

though he did vote for me...
#8
Its too high risk to put any money on synth except that its Dylans corpse typing, only using his nose, hence why its taking so long, he started writing out the song for the 1v1 a week ago...
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#9
eh. neither, really. i'm sorry. a few of the lines in green did jump out at me, but i honestly cannot say either of them are good enough to warrant a vote. at least relatively to each other.
#12
Im sorry to Jamie, I've really loved his work recently, but Travis just pipped this one.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#13
Mine was written pretty ots, in a style i'm just messing around with.

But this seems a deserved loss, my piece is far worse.
#16
there's too much beating going on.. and too much use of the word "heart."

still, i'd have to go with jamie 'cause I like the style if not the diction.

Raggle, your awkward rhyming didn't do it for me sorry bro.
#22
just in case anyone is curious, "Ndakasimba" means "I am well" in Shona, the language spoken in Zimbabwe.

my real name is Edgar. soooo you can call me that, if you want.

: D