#1
Hey, i need help fast. I need lines to use to break up with a . Im being selfish (that cant be spelled right...), heartless, and i dont want to be with her any more. We havent really been "going out." its been one fucking week. I dont wanna hurt her, i just want her off my back. thanks pit people.
If you want to jam in/around Mooresville NC message me.
#2
"I'm gay"
"I have AIDs"
"I'm going to Africa with Bob Geldof for a long time, I think it would be better if we didn't see each other any more"
#3
throw your nuts at her and say POTATO SACKED and leave
I play a guitar strung with Yngwie's chest hair
#4
How about the old, "This isn't going to work between us, we're not meant to be together."

Or "I just want to be friends with you."

Or "It's not me, it's you."

OR "I'm tired of you, move on and have a nice life."
Get off my lawn.
#5
Say i have heptitus D. Yes there is Hepaitius D it was just discovered 5 minutes ago. ummmmmm yea..
[Space Reserved for Future]
#6
"its not me, its you"
gear

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Digitech Whammy
Dunlop ZW-45 Zakk Wylde Signature wah
#7
Tell her shes a good **** buddy and thats it...no emotions or anything. Harsh, but...it'll work.
#8
say "goodbye, im going to the relationship thread"
Dissonance is Bliss


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#9
how about instead of these lame cliches you say something like, oh, I don't know...

i don't want to see you anymore?
#10
Tell her "Sorry, I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now." My friend's been broken up with by 3 girls that gave him that excuse, well except the other way around, it's quite funny and will leave her really confused haha.
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maybe you're not saying the right things? an amp likes to know you care.





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#12
This is actually from someone on UG, but I have changed it a little bit.

"Due to personal differences, I don't want to see you again. Ever."
Quote by Necrophagist777

I agree, i always help people up. At the last show we all protected this little kid who was tying his shoe in the middle of the pit.


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#13
Quote by MatrixClaw
Tell her "Sorry, I'm not really looking for a girlfriend right now." My friend's been broken up with by 3 girls that gave him that excuse, well except the other way around, it's quite funny and will leave her really confused haha.




You know what's sad is when the person goes out the next week and starts dating someone else.
Get off my lawn.
#14
Here's what you do MATE.
Girl: heyyy sex-monster, how's the sex without me? not good i'd imagine.
You: you'd be suprised, my hands had years of practise
Her: hahaha, you're so funny, i just want to suck you off right noww
You: alright, but after you finish i've got some bad news for you

then splooge in her eyes, and tell her you'll call her next time you want a blow.

she'll get the jist
Am i allowed to say erection?

p.s. erection, hahahaha.
#18
put a bag of potatoes in her car, she'll get the message.
Beauty Supreme

Yeah you were right about me
#19
Quote by iremain60
act like a jerk so SHE'LL brake up YOU, instead of YOU breaking up with HER.


Brilliant! Perfect idea! It does ofcourse mean that it could take a while for the break up to occur and when it does it will just be putting her through the same problems he is going through...which isn't a very nice thing to do. So as long as you don't have a concious, this is a good idea.

easiest way to do it is just to say, its not going to work. Things won't be the same between you for another week or 2 but the longer you wait the longer the break up period is going to be for.
Quote by mattvl
Listen to this guy, he's australian. If there are any people out there who know how to handle women it's australians.
#20
You actually come to the internet for advice on how to break up with a girl? Oh dear...

"Darling, I can't see you anymore; I'm leaving for India tomorrow. I'll be gone for 10 years saving orphans from abusive elephants. Please, let's make this night special before I go."
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#21
Allow me to quote myself.
Quote by Rawrdemon
Try opening with a joke! Something like; 'What's the difference between a black man and a picnic table?

I'm gay '

Yep. Good old fashioned comedy.
#22
^

i fund my gurlfrend on teh internets her nam is cindy677 she saz she luvs me so imma fly her in
#23
The old I wanna be friends thiing works everytime


No it doesnt. It'l just make her feel worse
Member #48 of the Weezer Fan club

Gear.
Epiphone LP Classic Quilt Top (w/ SD SH-4 in bridge)
Crate XT 120R
Line 6 PODXT Live
Squier Strat
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#24
i hate the i wanna be friends thing but it works. or this is what i have used- it just doesnt feel right.
like a chicken on a junebug.- coach teasdale

if you dont want to play basketball go to underwater basket weaving. coach teasdale

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
-- Douglas Adams
#25
"sorry, baby. this isnt going to work.

i'm looking for someone... a little more attractive..."


hahahahahahaha
DO THAT!


just kidding.
A relaxed singer is a singer in control.


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#26
"Im gay" then say "I blame you"
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#28
dude, it's been a week, you are in WAY too deep....you gotta fake your own death.
Head of the Classic Rock Martyrs Club PM me for info.

<CLASSIC ROCK
^
everything else


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#29
pull the old "i dont love myself enough to love you" slit your wrist walk away, rinse and repeat if shes a blonde
Don't try engaging me
The vaguest of shrugs
The prescription drugs
You'll never find
A person inside

Quote by saphrax
I agree with This End Up
#30
Tell her she has a stupid pussy
C2B3
Colnel Claypool's Bucket of Bernie Brains

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I don't put people's quotes in my sig, but this would go there if I did.
#31
"I'm sorry, I can't do this. I'm too busy raping the English language to stay faithful with you. This relationship is over..."
For these things give thanks at nightfall:The day gone, a guttered torch,A sword tested, the troth of a maid,Ice crossed, ale drunk.-The Hávamál