#2
this gets a bit repetitive but would definitely make a good song. the one part i didnt like is the and all the sh.it to come line because it seems a little blunt and without explanation and ect. there are some other cliches in here but nothing major that needs drastic attention

overall nice start, there are some things that could be improved upon like some descriptions and whatever but this is solid.
6.5/10
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=531524
theres mine if you can just say if you like it or not