#1
Hey guys been awhile! But I have been writing a good bit and here is my newest one! Oh I am trying a new approach to writing so it may be diffrernt.

Wasted Eyes
--------------------
(Verse 1)
I open my sober eyes up to a wasted world
Seeing the hate, seeing the fear drives me to the point
To the point of agony and despair, nothing will cure it.
No, Nothing at all!
Sitting in the dark, all alone and afraid,
I begin to drown my tears
With the poison to intoxicate my soul and to waste my mind.
To escape is all I want; to leave this place is what I desire!
Trying to escape is useless, when I just fall down!

(Chorus)
Running away into the bottle
Only heals the pain for so long
So now I call your name
In my drunken rage!

(Verse 2)
Waking up wondering why,
Why everything is how it is.
Why do you drop the bombs onto my heart?
When you know it tears me apart?
As I wonder these things, I hear a calling
The devils juice calls my name,
Dragging me in for one more sip, to escape!

(Chorus)
Running away into the bottle
Only heals the pain for so long
So now I call your name
In my drunken rage!

(Bridge)(whole bridge whispered, last line screamed)
I must escape I can’t Stay here!
This drink only does so much! I have to get out!
But There is no where to go!

(Verse 3)
Open my wasted eyes
And the world just spins
Spins around and around me
Not letting me be
And you begin to bother me with your words of hate
This I can’t Take!
I know the poison can not save me
So what do I do???

(Final Chorus)(repeat 3 times)
I can’t Run away, I can’t escape
I must stay here And I must bear this pain!
#2
I thought this was really good.
92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you are part of the 8% who still listen to real music, copy and paste this.

Gear:
Epiphone Les Paul
Peavey Raptor
Marshall MG15CD
Dunlop Crybaby
#3
Well I can tell that it is different. Though I have not read alot of your stuff, But the lyrics you can tell are just different they have that feel if you no what I mean. Anyways.

(Verse 1)
I open my sober eyes up to a wasted world
Seeing the hate, seeing the fear drives me to the point
To the point of agony and despair, nothing will cure it.
No, Nothing at all!
Sitting in the dark, all alone and afraid,
I begin to drown my tears
With the poison to intoxicate my soul and to waste my mind.
To escape is all I want; to leave this place is what I desire!
Trying to escape is useless, when I just fall down!


I liked this part alot. Nothing you could really change because it is the first verse, It depends though how everything else flows with it.

(Chorus)
Running away into the bottle
Only heals the pain for so long
So now I call your name
In my drunken rage!


Just change the first two lines. I don't what to put there but find something cause that is were it is losing something, Maybe try wording it a little different.

(Verse 2)
Waking up wondering why,
Why everything is how it is.
Why do you drop the bombs onto my heart?
When you know it tears me apart?
As I wonder these things, I hear a calling
The devils juice calls my name,
Dragging me in for one more sip, to escape!


Hey This was really good.

I must escape I can’t Stay here!
This drink only does so much! I have to get out!
But There is no where to go!


Ohh i love it besides the last line. Maybe Like scream, How do I get out!

(Verse 3)
Open my wasted eyes
And the world just spins
Spins around and around me
Not letting me be
And you begin to bother me with your words of hate
This I can’t Take!
I know the poison can not save me
So what do I do???


Pretty good, Just that last line. Maybe try this, Is there any hope?

I can’t Run away, I can’t escape
I must stay here And I must bear this pain!


A good closure.

But other than that I enjoyed very much, I don't know maybe nothing needs to be change maybe i do not know what i'm talking about. You know everything looks different whenever it is written out than when it is heard. Good Job!!!!