#1
Eh this is a "song" I call Sunny days. I added on the last bit 'cause it seemed a bit short.

It's kind of Oasisesque.

Sunny days and after taste
To the dreams you never chased
Sitting, stairing at the moon
Tommorow can never some too soon

Climb into your bed
Dreaming of the things
You wish you'd said
You know it's never too late
it's just too soon right now

Dry your eye's
It's time to see
What's in the skies
Last edited by teenage riot at Mar 3, 2007,
#2
its alrite. not sure about the blinded by the spoon bit? maybe something about the moon would be better if you need a rhyme
#4
I like where this is going. I like the lines ...
Sunny days and after taste
To the dreams you never chased


It gives you an idea as to what the song is about. Since this is so short, I was wondering if the Sunny days stanza is the chorus or a verse.

Something else I wanted to point out is in the second stanza, I would personally change the line that goes "Dreaming all the things" to "Dream about the things" or maybe "Dreaming of the things." The all seems to throw off the flow of the line, at least in my opinion.

This is a great start to a song! I hope to read more once its finished.

Anthony