#1
ah man. crit for crit because I don't fell like doing much else this is more free write but anyways tell me what you guys think. I'll say sorry in advance for any spelling errors.


- You've made anger so _______ beautiful because know I realize
I’ve wasted all these days
dreaming and praying as if with time you would be less broken
I remember that some night things would go better than the last
dirty glass cups and extra strength pills was all I could find worth an appetite
I remember praying with a pillow under my knees
because discomfort was always a stranger
Lord you should know better than anyone else I’m not broken
That’s why you never talk back you know i’m not worth it
I want to be caught between just being a memory and finding glory in it’s devoloping
but I know it’s not worth saying this prayer, cry, hypocrite wish,and bullshit lament
I get so chocked up over myself
when others could easily swallow me whole.
Smile alot today... okay?
#2
i like it. its very deep, beautifully written, and very poetic. you did an amazing job portraying an emotion, and you stuck with that same emotion and feeling all the way through. 9/10

Crit my songs? they're in my sig
Gear:
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Fender MIM strat with dimarzio pups
JCM800
Egnater Rebel 30
Takamine Acoustic
tons of pedals
Last edited by phobiafreak949 at Mar 3, 2007,