#1
first song i've written, hope you like...

I watched as you walked towards me, to my place you came,
You stood there staring straight through me, as if I was to blame,
Suddenly everything crashes down, I realise the distance between,
The two of us and how we were, the things we had not seen.

You say it feels like forever, since you heard my voice,
But It wasn’t meant to be you say, I gave you the choice,
Yet I wonder why it all went wrong, why these things were said,
If it weren’t for all those worthless fights, our hearts would not have bled.

All of the things you would say, you said so you could hurt me,
If those three words you said were true, you wouldn’t have deserted me.
I hate the way I still talk to you and the way that you don’t care,
Because of this I’ll walk away, leaving behind me your stare.
#2
looks good, any idea on what style its gonna be in? Like is it acoustic, metal etc?
R.I.P Dimebag
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Quote by SLASH_MUSTAINE
zakk wylde without pinch harmonics.....thats like jenna jameson without sex!!!!

^ Oh how he is so right!
Quote by Gibson>You
u have testicular cancer

have a nice day

^what a way to tell it like it is
#3
Quote by xxxsophiexxx
first song i've written, hope you like...

I watched as you walked towards me, to my place you came,
You stood there staring straight through me, as if I was to blame,
Suddenly everything crashes down, I realise the distance between,
The two of us and how we were, the things we had not seen.

its nice

You say it feels like forever, since you heard my voice,
But It wasn’t meant to be you say(said?)
, I gave you the choice,
Yet I wonder why it all went wrong, why these things were said,
If it weren’t for all those worthless fights, our hearts would not have bled.

bolded 1 a bit forced

All of the things you would say, you said so you could hurt me,
If those three words you said were true, you wouldn’t have deserted me.
a litt le bit forced

I hate the way I still talk to you and the way that you don’t care,
Because of this I’ll walk away, leaving behind me your stare.
ending is nice



narration was good . over all as a song it will do fine
Hi