#1
I havent quite finished this yet. I want to extend the clean part at the end and then jump back into the original feel of the song. Was lookin to see what anyone else thought about it.


EDIT: This song has been totally revamped and lacks only a good ending. crit please
Attachments:
NewAttempt.zip
Last edited by GuitarDaemon at Mar 7, 2007,
#3
Thanks. Yea, unfortunately I know jack squat about drums so I can't put those in. Bass, I might could attempt but definitely not my strong point either. I really just need to develop the clean part a little more and have it lead back up to another heavy melody then to a end riff. I'm kinda at a "writers" block which is why I posted it now before I was done. Thanks again for the crit.
#4
Good stuff man, it kinda reminds me of avenged sevenfold a bit, i really like the slow clean riff. Don't know what else to say other then Good Job! lol
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#5
I thought overall it was crappy.


After listening to it once I can't remember how any of the riffs go. That solo thing was crap too.

Try and concentrate on melody rather then just putting down whatever. Or if you're going to write crazy stuff, at least make it rememberable. That just bored me.
#6
Uh, those riffs didn't sound good. It was very random stuff. Try to improve those riffs more.
Gear

Schecter Hellraiser C-1
ENGL Thunder 50 E322
Blackstar HT-50
Framus 2x12 Cab
Yamaha HS50M


Founder of Opeth Fans Group
#7
Hypetreme: which riffs? all of em or certain ones. I also don't understand how you mean stuff was random. If you could elaborate a little more on that for me I'd really appreciate it.

Ouchies: Yea, the solo was a shot in the dark lol. I'm just learning those (studying scales and what not). I've been playin mostly rythym throughout my guitar playin years.. I find it odd you say that you cant remember the riffs because I thought they were pretty repetitive. As a matter of fact bars 23 - 39 are just a repeat of the first 22.

Hypetreme, Ouchies: I really appreciate yall taking the time to give me some feedback. I cant improve without constructive criticism so some suggestions would be kick ass. Thanks

davidson: thanks bro!
#8
Exactly, I mean all the riffs, sounded nothing. I mean, I can't remember any of those riffs. I want you to make riff what I can hymn inside my head afterwards. Ouchies got the point.

If you want why not to check my tabs out Link in signature.
Gear

Schecter Hellraiser C-1
ENGL Thunder 50 E322
Blackstar HT-50
Framus 2x12 Cab
Yamaha HS50M


Founder of Opeth Fans Group
#9
Ok =) I've pretty much re-vamped this song. Here is the beginning re-done. Before I continue I would like some feedback on what I've done already please. And now that I'm not busy fixin what once was a PoS . .I'll crit some of your songs Hypetreme.
Last edited by GuitarDaemon at Mar 7, 2007,
#10
Little better now. Try make those riffs sound more evil. Maybe you can also do a riff what repeats itself for few bars. I liked bars 13-14.
Gear

Schecter Hellraiser C-1
ENGL Thunder 50 E322
Blackstar HT-50
Framus 2x12 Cab
Yamaha HS50M


Founder of Opeth Fans Group