#1
K, new piece, I haven't posted in a little while because i've been recording, this a new song I'm working on recording at the moment. I'm going to add another verse soon but this is what it is at the moment.


[Xerox]


Mold me, your newest creation
Form me, without variation
Make me what you want me to be

Do you, feel pretty special
When you, strip away all our
Individuality?

Tell me, Tell me how to feel
Show me, Show me how to look
Teach me, Teach me how to act
Tell me, Tell me when to stop

Stitch up, my severed atoms
Pick up, what used to matter
To the little life left in me

Break down, the meaningless moments
Come down, As a piece of solace
Is torn from our beliefs

Am I living up to your expectations?
As a follower, As another Xerox

Nothing is perfect
Nothing is perfect
Nothing is perfect

Everything is perf-
#2
The sudden stop is a bit cliche', but not really what you were expecting. I know that doesn't make much sense but that's just hoq I perceived it. The subtle alliteration was nice too, in particular "meaningless moments." The repetition of nothing is perfect at the end is slighlty monotonous, but makes for a nice build up into the sudden and opposite stop mentioned earlier. I don't know, I'm not sure of a way to take the boring out of it, but I'm sure there is something that could spice it up a bit. Overall a good peice, although a bit too simple in parts, the simplicity does a lot for it. Also, the Xerox thing is a much more original way of doing the "Making me a copy of you" song.

Please crit my peice, it's still on the front page, or if not only one back, it's called "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."
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