#1
[Ever have a day like this?, P.S. Caffeine is NOT the only drug for me :P]

I cant see
cant see
cant see

Maybe I should have another

I cant see
cant breathe
cant feel
cant sleep
cant eat
cant blink
cant be

Caffeine
My only love for me

caffeine
Another drink for me.

Never fear
or fear the voices
I am here
to make your choices
would you like to buy some heroine
Or drown your scences in sweet ****ing....

Caffeine
The only love for me

Caffeine
the only hope for me

Caffeine
the only one for me

Caffeine
Another drink for me.

Caffeine
the only drug for me

Caffeine
fills my heart with glee

Caffeine
please fix my life for me

Caffeine
Another drink for me

Just a little sugar high, then ill be on my way
Just a little to get my by, then ill be on my way.
what a highlight of my day
get a little in touch with god when I have my caffeine

I cant see
cant breathe
cant feel
cant sleep
cant eat
cant blink
cant be

me without

I cant see
cant breathe
cant feel
cant sleep
cant eat
cant blink
cant be

Caffeine
The only love for me

Caffeine
the only hope for me

Caffeine
the only one for me

Caffeine
Another drink for me.

Caffeine
the only drug for me

Caffeine
fills my heart with glee

Caffeine
please fix my life for me

Caffeine
Another drink for me

I dont need it
I dont need it
I dont need it
(but I want it)

I So want it
I so want it
(I NEED IT)

Caffeine is the drug for me
Nothing else will do
Sugar rushes get me by
But caffeine will get me high
caffine is just right for me
How about you?

I cant see
cant breathe
cant feel
cant sleep
cant eat
cant blink
cant be

Caffeine
The only love for me

Caffeine
the only hope for me

Caffeine
the only one for me

Caffeine
Another drink for me.

Caffeine
the only drug for me

Caffeine
fills my heart with glee

Caffeine
please fix my life for me

Caffeine
Another drink for me

I cant see
cant breathe
cant feel
cant sleep
cant eat
cant blink
cant be

without

I cant see
cant breathe
cant feel
cant sleep
cant eat
cant blink
cant be

Caffeine....
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,
#3
It is? Damn, it is...Funny, Caffeine is one of those words that look wrong if you spell it wright.......why does the english language **** with me so much?
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,
#4
What do you expect us to say to this?

Can we pick apart your meaning through your thoughtful, nuanced diction and syntax?
No.
Can we applaud your creativity and verbal skill?
Not really.
Can we offer you any suggestions to improve what amounts to one single sentiment repeated over and over again?
No we can't.

Come back here when you have something to say.
#7
now listen here,

Im what you might call, "an Idiot" and I dont really understand what you just said to me, but when you crit a song your not supposed to insult people, you did fine on pointing out the flaws, which s what you are supposed to do so thanks, but do not come onto my thread, and start saying things about me, my song or my mother (if you didnt then you are fine on that one). just because you dont like that song dont mean other people may not like the song.
:stickpoke
#8
^^ i'm literally lmao!! like, my a** is almost clean off, true story!!

teehee, so crackpipe-- you are hilarious but in Truly Ninja's defense, this piece really did amount to the same phrases repeated again and again and again and again and.....

I didn't get much out of it, to tell you the truth.
#9
You never heard a song repeat itself??, I like the Terra Firma song by the way.
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,
#10
You want me to point out the flaws, then?

The whole piece is hinged on a trite, overused theme. You don't use any figurative language (for example, a metaphor, which is a kind of comparison) to make it interesting for the reader/listener. You don't really use any rhyme, but you manage to use the word 'me' 27 times, which gets overwhelmingly tedious. You really don't have any structure to tie the poem together, and your awkward line spacing doesn't help matters. Also your misspellings and poor diction, as well as the whole caffeine theme, give the whole piece an extremely juvenile tone, which just makes the references to heroin and sex laughable.

I didn't insult your mother. I'm sure she's a delightful woman.
#11
LOL.......thats got to be the greatest thing I ever heard!!

C'mon now, not everything has to follow the sacred song structure thing, open your mind abit man, try some weed, it will take the edge off,

by the way, thanks for the comment about my mother, she is
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,
#12
thanks crackpipe jones. Truly Ninja is spot on, btw, but I feel like you don't take yourself seriously anyway, considering your username is "crackpipe jones." <--- hahaa get it? "username?" "username?" hahaha

good times, good times.
#13

Im what you might call, "an Idiot" and I dont really understand what you just said to me, but when you crit a song your not supposed to insult people,


When the entire song is one big flaw, we can assume the person writing the song is one big flaw as well. ggnorekthx

Rock On
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#15
but out of all seriousnessness........ness..


you all need to chill, its not a deep meaningful poem (obviously)

Its a fun song, , see the smile!


You guys eat too much vanillia... I swear.
:stickpoke
#17
thought people would like it, thought wrong


If you want a song you could try and pick some meaning out oof look for a song called "A thought for the thoughtless."
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,
#18
Fun songs are, I guess, fun. But Tenacious D is still alive and kicking so why bother? Anything you want to say in your bullshit "fun songs" has already been said and said better. So yeah...why bother? Obviously you have a good time with your life (except for the part about needing caffeine or something) so why do you feel the need to sing about it and make me lose brain cells? Destroying your own mind with massive amounts of drug use and time spent with stupid sluts who don't ever smile and retarded friends dressed like clowns (Literally. I've seen ghetto fab lately) calling yourself "Homiez 4 lyf" might be wonderful. But keep it to yourself. I've lost enough brain cells just trying to think of something wittier to call you than "stupid cunt."

Rock On
Newest Lyrics:
[url="http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=727775[/url"]Pattern Recognition

Short Stories:
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#20
i enjoy bumping this thread and getting more and more people involved in this ridiculousness.
#21
I guess now im constently strung out on caffeine now.......

I guess now I go to raves and kill braincells everytime I inject it into my vains,

OH, MY HEAD......Im having withdraw symptoms,


NEED SODA!!!!!!
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,
#22
Damnit! I wrote out one of the funniest, wittiest insults I've had here recently and all you say is "say what?" like the stupid shit you are. This is worse when I told the rap kids that rap is dumb and all they said was "**** off." I was at least expecting a couple lines of rhyme from them. Blah. Kids on these boards don't know how to respond to a good ass-kicking.

Anyway. This thread should have been closed a while ago due to all the off-topic posts. So I'll shut up and everyone else should too unless someone has something to say about the song itself...

Rock On
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Short Stories:
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#23
Good, your starting to piss me off,

By the way, Its caffeine, NOT HEROINE!!!!!!!!!!

TThere is no big time playas who sell energy drinks in the ghetto at 2am....
:stickpoke
Last edited by crackpipe jones at Mar 5, 2007,