#1
Well, just a little something I've come up with, not really a song or anything ...
I think it more poetry than anything. As with my guitar pro stuff crits are welcome and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Enjoy.

Jog past the park, but don’t dare to go in.
Its as if there’s a warning etched above our heads.
Graffiti curves scrawled on thick barked trees,
The worse epitome, no, epiphany of our pledge

“Give community service a chance.”
Well I’ll take reassurance
In the knowledge that I’ve succeeded,
Succeeded in ridding our beautiful park,
Of all its contemporary midnight art.

Solitary candle – my lonely friend –
Thanks for keeping me company.
“You can call anything art these days.”
#2
Quote by Of_Wolves
Well, just a little something I've come up with, not really a song or anything ...
I think it more poetry than anything. As with my guitar pro stuff crits are welcome and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

Enjoy.

Jog past the park, but don’t dare to go in.
Its as if there’s a warning etched above our heads.
Graffiti curves scrawled on thick barked trees,
The worse epitome, no, epiphany of our pledge

I realize where your goign with the "warning etched above our heads" as in trees but it reads horrible, id suggest some restructure there.

“Give community service a chance.”
Well I’ll take reassurance
In the knowledge that I’ve succeeded,
Succeeded in ridding our beautiful park,
Of all its contemporary midnight art.

This is awesome to be honest.

Solitary candle – my lonely friend –
Thanks for keeping me company.
“You can call anything art these days.”


The ending seems abrupt but i still really like this piece. Just that one correction.
#3
You mean in the sense that it doesn't quite flow right, yeah? I'll have to admit when I read it through before posting I didn't like that line either for some reason. Hmmm I'll have a think about it, though any ideas/thought/suggestions/critisism are welcome on that matter.

I get on a crit for you Trig next time you post something ... lol or just leave me a link now

Anyone else will to help me out here?
#4
I liked it quite alot and i think it flowed right since you said this wasn't supposed to be a song. I read it outloud and it seemed just fine. While it puts you in a state of mine I found myself confused about what was the meaning or atleast the scenery. I'll probaly give a longer crit later
As i have to go
Smile alot today... okay?