#1
this is my most recent composition. i dont know exactly what genre of metal this fits under but i do know that it is metal. enjoy!

EDIT: scroll down for updated version
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Last edited by nexteyenate at Mar 10, 2007,
#2
sounds like a half speed dragonforce to me. (except for the keyboard thing that sounds full fledge dragonforce).
#3
grr...thats exactly what i didnt want to happen. Herman Li's soloing style is WAY different than mine though.
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#4
I dont think it sounded like DragonForce at all, though that wiouldnt be a bad thing. I loved it anyway...everything about it harmonized great and the riffs were very good.
#5
thanks. i appreciate the positive feedback
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#6
Hmmm, not much to complain about. 9.99/10 dude. great work. It did have an ever so slight DF sound to it at some points; which in my opinion is good. I enjoyed it.
#7
thanks. one question: would this be considered power metal?
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#8
It all depends on the vocals I guess, but yeah it does kind of sound rather power metal to be. haha mind you the intro sounded all a bit Mastodon to me lol with a random DF style keyboard part over it. I know, I know, I'm a bit strange right Its beyond me how I got to that conclusion but meh heh Power metal it is.

So far I can't find anything wrong, in fact nothing much at all all the way through.

If a good piece of work, I throughly enjoyed it, kep it up mate.
#9
i don't think i've ever listened to Mastodon. I'll have to go buy one of their CDs...
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#10
That didn't sound Dragonforce in my opinion. You got very unique solos there what I liked.
The riffs in the intro weren't so good. Try to make them little spice them little more. Very good song 'cause it wasn't repeating at all.

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#11
yeah, it took me more time to write the solos than it took me to write the rest of the song. i'll be sure to crit your song!
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#12
finally a nice metal song on ug!!! most people have chromatic shred s### that sounds like f###. you know what i mean? ummmm 9/10 because of repetitiveness but nice licks.


ps: i does sound like dragonforce
#13
thanks. yeah i get sick of that stuff too.
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#14
great one of the best pieces ive seen on ug loved the main riff great melody, you have a good ear for the melodies and fills and stuff, i can see why ppl mention drangonforce but as you say your lead is definitely a different style although you both have the great melody and harmonizing in there, overall great piece can think of anything to change apart from maybe string out or lengthen your ending as it was just an abrupt chord ending i think you should just slow down the main riff and use that as your ending with it fading out with no drums? just a suggestion

actually im currently about to write a piece like this to try figure out how to harmonize parts and write more melodic stuff as i cant really do that well at the minute but itll come sometime
#15
wow, thanks dude. yeah, i actually lengthened the song a little bit and added another guitar solo. I am working on a new ending and will hopefully have it done in a couple of minutes.
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#16
okay here's the updated song. Enjoy!

EDIT: hopefully all the problems were fixed
EDIT2: check more recent post for newer version
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Last edited by nexteyenate at Mar 19, 2007,
#17
the intro piano made it hectic as all hell..
the guitar in bar 16 feels un finished...
Jaw drop at piano appegios
22-25 didnt really fit
Theres a lot of sour note in 62-69
everything should have been triplets at the part where the piano was... it gave it a weird feeling...
That end Owned.

other than what i speficified... I Like it alot.
#18
well the notes aren't actually what one would consider "sour". I just switched scales to a spanish/jewish scale. I also changed the rhythm section to fit that scale, so it shouldn't have sounded sour, but rather it should have sounded jewish (quite literally).
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#19
too many actual riffs to be considered anything like Dragonforce lol. But yeah once the piano arpeggios came in I had to change my pants, and from then on I loved this song, even though it has that power metal sound that I really don't like all that much, but yeah it's still great even for me a big disliker of power metal. Great stuff you made a power metal non-fan like it. Good stuff.
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#20
up the piano arpeggios at the intro i would strip down into chords it would sound less chaotic and flow better. I didnt overly mind the arpeggios in the middle they kinda came out of no were but it sounded kinda like dragonforce just mabey lead into them.

The riff after the arpeggios i didnt like but other that that i thought it was a very good song that i really enjoyed listening to

as is 8.5/10 with out the chaotic intro and the riff at bar 22 9.5/10
#21
okay, hopefully i fixed all of the aforementioned problems in this update (in my previous post)
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#22
i would like the same people who critted my song before to crit the new version. hopefully, they will like it more
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#23
Those arpeggios are near impossible on a real piano, and they look arranged for guitar (one note per string, pretty much). If you broke them down into the basic triads, it would sound more fluent, less chaotic, and easier for any real piano player.
#24
so, in the chorus, for the D# minor chord, i should just use 3 notes (D# A# F#)?

EDIT: nvm. i figured it out. That piano part in the chorus was actually meant to be synth but the way i rearranged it sounds pretty nice on the piano
Attachments:
asymptote.zip
Quote by Killian5-0
I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

Quote by Rocker_geek
nexteyenate you win
Linux
Last edited by nexteyenate at Mar 19, 2007,
#25
coffeeguy, can you tell me if i fixed it or not? i want this song to be perfect before i start to record it.
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I was looking at a friend of mines baby that was just born and I said "He's younger than me"

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#26
Hey its been a while since i crited the original so ill crit this as if its a new song ( i do remember the intro was to chaotic and what im hearing now is much less chaotic and quite good)

Overall the song is very well writen and well thought out honestly its one of the better power metal songs ive heard. in other words its not just formulated and generic like i fell most power metal has become. some parts in the solo like the bends at bar 59 didnt sound quite right like it was out of key or something but that might be GP messing it up, im not sure. Other than that its much better that the originall (from what i can remember)

The one thing i didnt like was the use of the piano out side of the appegios (those i did like). it seemed like the piano was playing more of a bass part thoughout alot of the song i would leave it out unless its adding something to the song.

Crit mine? its a very differnt style
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=556593
#27
i liked it alot! Don't worry, I don't think it sounded like Dragonforce... alot better and more creative than that.

I'm not sure on the piano though, it kinda turned it into a power metal 'hoedown'. I would keep the chords as piano, but have the leads being played as a synth. Just my opinion though.

Great job overall

crit mine?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=556926

Alex