#1
A friend of mine suggested to me writing and in-character song; here it is. Feel free to post a link to yours, I might crit it, I might not.

The Hitman Song
Am C
This is my story, and it's the last damn time I'll tell
Dm F G Am
So feel free to grab a seat and you'd better listen well
I used to be something they call a hired gun
You'd **** in your pants if you knew half the thing I'd done
My eyes were always open, my fingers always curled
I'd look into peoples' eye as I watched them leave this world
The path to my future was paved with piano wire
But everybody gets the blues, even a gun for hire
The Girls they would come and go, a new one every night
But I'd look in the mirror and know something wasn't right
Eventually I met a girl whose face shown like the sun
But there's a certain in loving a hired gun
My dominant employer had more power then I could fight
And he looked into her shining face and told me to snuff the light
I took for a strole in the park late at night
And it broke my heart and broke my mind to pull that wire tight
Later that same night as my employer slept in bed
I crept into his room and put a bullet through his head
I let his guards catch me and they turned me in to you
And I don't give a flying **** if you think my story's true
That is the whole story, and it's the last damn time I'll tell
So fill me full of wattage and send me on to Hell
#3
This isn't really much of anything honestly. A short little "narrative" with forced rhyming. You could've written this in five minutes, and it feels like it. And don't post the damn chords in your lyrics. That's my biggest pet peeve when someone posts lyrics and puts down the chords he plays them in, or in quote (little solo here....). It's rediculous.

I dunno what really to say, so sorry for a short, negative crit I guess.
Poor advice.