#1
Hi guys, wrote this as homework for my English class. I've only ever written songs before, never just poetry, and there was a limit of 16 lines, so i was definitely out of my comfort zone. What i'd like help with is how to make such a short poem meaningful. I don't mind this one, 'coz there's a concept that I really want to run with there, but it lacks fire, or something like that anyway. Any help would be much appreciated. Will also do crit for crit if you want me to, not experienced with it though.

A Walk Among The Mists

Sit, reminisce. Walk, among the mists.

The angels have come, and they have left,
was it but a passing on the street?
the event lingers not with them,
each one lingers still with me

so unattainable,
the last she stood upon the stars,
an etherial spirit, a vision in grey
the purity of one so marred

she sang to me a siren song
of unrequited love,
of a mystic place above,
and once, upon a feathered touch, was gone...

...Was it but a passing in the street?
#2
Please read the FAQ found with the announcement at the top of this forum, then you can repost this.

Thanks.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.