#1
This song is in no means just meant to offend religious people, but in terms poke fun at their values and the fact they add to half of the problems this world has. And please if you do reply, don't reply just to say how you hate my beliefs. Thanks.

Atheist and Alive

______________________

The war has begun and now they're dropping their bombs
The christians and the rest are praying to their 100 different gods
They cross their hearts with a swift amen, just as they cross our backs
Next time i'll stick you to your crucifix where you all belong.

(Pre-Chorus)
We all still hate you for being blind and for having fairy-tale beliefs
Go ask god why I'm saying this 'cos he probably won't give a shit...

(Chorus)
I'm atheist and I'm alive
You're religious and you're gone
God thought you were as worthless
As the rest of the ****ing lot.

Keep praying oh almighty instill us with more false beliefs
You smelly ****ing naturalists get a wash you ****ing reek
Of false hope and magic men in the sky and back beneath the ground
Don't walk around in your brown leather sandals you hypocritical clown

And we still ****ing hate you, your blind and stupid beliefs
So run along to god and pray 'cos I don't give a shit...

I'm atheist and I'm alive
You're religious and you're gone
God thought you were as worthless
As the rest of the ****ing lot.

The Muslims blamed the christians
They blamed it on their beliefs
Do you even know what the **** a crucifix really means?
Or all that other bullshit
You try to force me to believe
Would it help to remind you that your so called saviour is dead?

Don't knock on my door
Try to indoctrinate me and sell your religious scam
I don't need your leaftlets
To tell me who I am
As for all the rest
Let them buy into your nazi-esque religious war plan
False values give me nothing
But thinking for myself can.

'Cos I'm a ****ing atheist
'Cos I'm a ****ing atheist
'Cos I'm a ****ing atheist
And I'm still more than alive
Last edited by Adam_Harrison9 at Mar 7, 2007,
#2
This type of piece has been literally done to death. The only difference here is that you use religion instead of politics.

Given that, your argument is neither strong nor coherent. Yeah, I get that you hate religion, but fuck if I know why. There's way too much "religion sucks, so fuck you!" and really nothing else.

Not to mention the overuse of forced rhyming like this:

Keep praying oh almighty instill us with more false beliefs
You smelly ****ing naturalists get a wash you ****ing reek


That was cringeworthy like a lot of stuff here. I dunno what else to say. This didn't do anything for me.
Poor advice.
#3
hmm. im gonna say use a thesaurus........your lyrics sound like a kid wrote them....get rid of smelly and stupid and use stronger words
#5
Thanks for the crits I will bear that in mind, this is meant to be a simple song. I don't know how, stellar, you get the meaning mixed up:

e.g brown leather sandals means they killed a form of animal for the leather... in christianity you are taught to care for all creatures
I'm taking hit at them for their naturalist beliefs, when what do they get from it apart from smelling bad?
And I'm explaining how they hand their leaflets and their religious propaganda out here, there and everywhere to try and turn people onto being like them. The chorus also points out that some people believe that in being non-religious god will have his deed with you or w/e well i'm saying religious people have died, but i'm atheist and i'm alive.

I don't know how it really is that hard to understand, apart from saying **** you, which it also is doing. it's meant to be a fast, angry punk song and in your face. I dunno if that's helped...
Last edited by Adam_Harrison9 at Mar 7, 2007,
#6
Quote by Adam_Harrison9
Thanks for the crits I will bear that in mind, this is meant to be a simple song.


Given that this is supposed to be a 'simple song,' it needs something else to ride on. You might want to consider a stronger, more structured rhyme scheme and meter. That in turn will cause you to change some words, but not meaning. Just something to consider. You definitely have something to build from here.
#7
well. it did seem simple, but. the rhyming wasn't that great, seemed forced. The message was a bit to forcibly put out there, i too think that religion is entirely stupid, but this a very extreme and somewhat childish way of putting it. i didn't really like the chorus, i don't know. whilst singing this in my head, it came across as very nu-metal type stuff, and everyone knows that can't be good for anything.
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!
#8
i think the cursing for no real apparent reason besides some type of anger really just throw it off alot too.
Run, Run Farmer. Screaming! Bloody Murder
The daughters of question have been murdered!
Murdered! Murdered!
#9
Quote by Schizopathic
well. it did seem simple, but. the rhyming wasn't that great, seemed forced. The message was a bit to forcibly put out there, i too think that religion is entirely stupid, but this a very extreme and somewhat childish way of putting it. i didn't really like the chorus, i don't know. whilst singing this in my head, it came across as very nu-metal type stuff, and everyone knows that can't be good for anything.


it aint nu metal take it from me lol it's more like leftover crack-ish. And there is no real rhyme sceme to the song, it's just a song if some of it rhymes, then it rhymes but the majority of it aint purposely written to a certain rhyme scheme.