#1
Hello all. I recently purchased a guitar and try my hand at some songwriting. I have written a couple of other song that turned out to be junk. This is my first song that I feel is complete. Looking for some good honest feedback. Let me know what you think.

[Verse]
Once again this world’s got me down
So I just sit and wonder
If and when things will ever turn around
You always say the sun will come up tomorrow
But today I’ll just hide in this smoke filled room
And in the bottom of a glass, is where I’ll drown my sorrows

[Verse]
This watering hole was built from our tears
A little liquid courage
And its time to face my fears
Out into the real world I go
What troubles lye around the corner
I’ll never know

[Chorus]
Through tough times and worse times
I know you Mr. Bartender
You will always be my friend
So pour me another glass of memories

[Verse]
Here all my problems fall on open ears
Don’t have to be shy about the past
It’s nothing that can’t be solved with a couple of beers
I’ve found the only way to heal is to self medicate
You got the cure for what ales me
Vodka & Tonic, don’t hesitate

Pour me another glass of memories

(Harmonica)

Pour me another glass of memories

(Harmonica)


A second version for the opening verse is:

There’s a black cloud over my head
Raining down on life
These are the days that I’ve come to dread

Didn't know which would be better
#2
The subject is very tired (songs about drinking problems away went out so long ago), But in all honesty, if this is your first song, then hey, it's very solid for someone who's never written.

The last verse is the best, imo.
Poor advice.