parliaments taste like sea water.
look to my left and see two girls,
swimming in a pool of self benevolence.
brevity of the dive, caught in my chest.
i cough out a cloud of abstruse dogmas.
yet, i’m but a wave to this sea.
my muses of altruism blend into an always blue.
and with dampened lungs
i find my tongue wrapped in weeds of pretense.
the walls around me are dry as our intentions,
but i still find myself caught without a breath.
i thought it was beautifully written. the flow was good, the choice of words was good. i can't really find much that i didn't like here. maybe one thing that i did not get: the first line, i understand that the parliaments tasting like sea water is a metaphor, but i didn't really get the meaning. but i kinda liked this.
This is a pretty solid piece, I re-read it half a dozen times, each time piecing it all together.

i cough out a cloud of abstruse dogmas.
yet, i’m but a wave to this sea.

Is my favourite part.
But overall this is a great piece, I get a sense of what you referred to with "parliaments" but still not as powerful as anything else.

Theres nothing else to be said in my eyes, its just a damn good piece, and you know it is.

I'd appreciate a comment on the piece in my sig if you can.

Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
shouldn't it read as are our intention, or did you not mean that?

I liked this.

I felt it took a different sort of tone at the 5th line, maybe a different type of style almost. Regardless I like this.

I hate doing this but the last few things i've posted haven't gotten many crits so... if you have the time....

Can you see in the dark? Can you see the look on your face?
the title is kind of ridiculous, but other than that, for a short piece. it has excellent flow, and has enough to cling on to to warrent a satisfying whole. Nice job.