#2
Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.
#4
Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your point of view. The chicken did not cross the road - it transcended it.
#5
VENUSIAN
FB SC BC TW
Patterns In The Ivy present ethnicity on an intriguing and dedicated level. ~Ambient Exotica
A mesmeric melange of yearning voice, delicate piano and carefully chosen samples. ~Lost Voices
#7
Quote by rabidguitarist

haha
ahh Cyanide and Happiness, sheer genius
and i don't really know any answers although the guy about 2 posts above covered alot
#9
Quote by rabidguitarist




Quote by 7DaySkeptic

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.


my favourite


The chicken had to cross the road because it was shunned by it's chicken peers for marrying a chicken of another belief.
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#14
George W Bush - because i believe that humans and chickens can coexist peacefully
#15
to go to kfc
My Gear:
ESP LTD EC-1000 SW
ESP LTD EC 500 STBC
Gibson Les Paul Studio
Dean Razorback Two Tone
Ibanez 7 string
Randall RH150G3 Head and Cab
#17
Ralph wiggum(simpsons)- i was chocking that chicken as i went to get ice cream
Quote by Zangetsu 101
Girl (Ned/chav) annoying me on the bus.

Me "Have you ever bled out your arse-hole?"

Her: Facial expression was priceless - "What??! Noo!"

Me: "Well if you want to keep it that way, **** off."

She then turned away and whimpered.
#18
to strike a deal with the devil.
I like analogue Solid State amps that make no effort to be "tube-like", and I'm proud of it...

...A little too proud, to be honest.
#19
Ed O'Brian - Why did the chicken cross the road?

Colin Greenwood - Dunno...cos Thom and Jonny control HIS output too?

^ Only funny if you're a Radiohead fan
#20
why did the pervert cross the road?


'cause he was stuck to the chicken.


.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
#21
Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cos yo momma came along and scared the shit outta it. (hahahahaha... no)
If you have something clever to say, don't bother, most people won't get it.

ZOMFG TEH SP33[) I-I4><!!1!

No... Herman Li's just really good...

"Yes I do like marmalade in my eggs! Thank you for asking!"

Quote by Chubbes_Hammet
How do you sig people?

#22
Because God made it that way.
There's only one thing we can do to thwart the plot of these albino shape-shifting lizard BITCHES!
#24
Why did the pervert cross the road?
Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken
Psycho Killer,
Qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa fa fa faa fa fa fa fa-fa faa


Quote by Paul Brannigan
Pie is like bread, but just with more pie in it