#1
Here's another song i've made.

Its called Last Breath/Enter the Shadows and its a Thrash Metal song.
Its a lot shorter than my previously posted song, for those who've looked at that one, and it has much more solo to it.

As before its Crit4Crit

Thanks.
Attachments:
Track 1.zip
#2
wow that was really good it was kinda like children of bodom meets lamb of god 2 of my favorite bands with a trash element. the solos were incredible and the riffs were feirce dont change anything

Amazing work 10/10
#3
It was OK. I didn't like the intro it was somewhat boring. The main iff is awesome and nice soloing too The drums are too extraordinary and hard to play. I suggest you too make just normal drums.

Crit mine? Link in signature.
Gear

Schecter Hellraiser C-1
ENGL Thunder 50 E322
Blackstar HT-50
Framus 2x12 Cab
Yamaha HS50M


Founder of Opeth Fans Group
#5
Ha. That's not too bad. I like it. At first I was listening to it, and I read the guy's comment saying it was like Lamb of God / Children of Bodom, and I was just like WTF?! But then the riffs kicked in, and it was pretty nice. Good solos, and the beginning was quite soothing to listen to.

7.5/10
-GEAR-

Schecter C-1 XXX
Squier Fender Stratocaster
Peavey 6505+
Marshall 1960A Lead Cabinet
Peavey Studio Pro 112
MXR Carbon Copy

Check out my band:www.myspace.com/silentsurrendertx
#6
Quote by SilverStratocas
Ha. That's not too bad. I like it. At first I was listening to it, and I read the guy's comment saying it was like Lamb of God / Children of Bodom, and I was just like WTF?! But then the riffs kicked in, and it was pretty nice. Good solos, and the beginning was quite soothing to listen to.

7.5/10


I ment i had the feel of those two bands but your right it quite a bit differnent than lamb of god or children but it reminded me of them i guess IDK
#7
Wow is quite the impressive composition. The only thing I really didn't like was the slow start with the acoustic guitar. I'm sure it'll sound better if it were actually recorded. The bit after the build up was all good of course.

8/10
#9
Kinda neat. 6/10 maybe. I liked the solo quite a bit. Overall, a pretty decent song I suppose. Kinda has a pop-rockish feel sometimes
Main Gear:
Cort G-Series 254
Takamine EG345C 12-String
Fender Squier P-Bass

Peavey Classic 50
Laney HCM65B

$75 Junk Drums w/ B8 Hats/Crash/Ride
#10
Yeah I didnt really like the acoustic part all too much...but the heavier riffs were pretty sweet. Its definitely a challenge to play though. Also, i agree that the drums are almost impossible. but we are on Ultimate-Guitar not Ultimate-Drum so its not too important.
#11
The intro was ok, nothing special.

The main riff kicks ass. The first solo is great, didn't really like the second one though. Needed a bit more melody to it.

It was Ok, I'd give it a 6.8/10. Not really my style of music.
#12
I've listened to all your other songs, and this is easily the best one man. The main riff is killer, and the solos are badass. I really like your arpeggios there. The solo wasn't too melodic, but that's probably not you you're thinking about when you write a thrash metal song like this. The thing I would change is the intro acoustic part. You should add in some notes from some chords and let them ring out. If you did that, it would sound awesome. Anyways I like this song, just change the acoustic part around a little.Record this w/ the actual instruments, then it would be kickass. Good job bro. 8.3/10
#15
That was pretty cool. Intro bored me, but I liked the part when the bass entered.

Enter the Shadows was sick. Main riff killed man, nice job. Pre-chorus was nothing special I thought, but I love that lick you did right before the Chorus and that you sprinkled everywhere.

8/10, although when the song shined, it ****ing shined, there were parts that bored me a little.
#16
Thats pretty good, needs a bit of work still though.
Metal Forum Popular Vote Winner!!!

Quote by webbtje
Quote by dead-fish
And you're obviously here because you fancy Phill.
Phill is a very attractive guy...

"I'm so tempted to sig that, Phill" - Sig it then

Unless otherwise stated, assume everything I say is in my opinion.
#17
i think its been said, but the intro ws off. not that it was bad, it could work but it was way too long.

the rest of the song was great. but it seemed like itd be REALLY hard to play.
Quote by wannabe jesus
If we did tune using the 5th fret on the G string it'd be a C. At the moment it goes G B which stands for George Bush. So obviously GB doesn't want you to C the truth! To the conspiracy cave!
#18
That was with out a doubt, really cool. Top Job. The intro could be a bit more interesting.
#19
I think the intro was perfect...I've always liked how acoustic metal intros start...but im a fan of 8 mins songs so the length doesnt bother me...i liked it...I think the bass was amazing! i loved the bass
#21
Didn't really when it was just the acoustics, but when the bass/drums came in for the first time it sounded pretty good. Then back to the acoustics, which wasn't so hot, again.

Now, Enter the Shadows, I should mention I'm not usually a fan of this type of music, so take that into mind.

Anyways, the main riff wasn't anything too great for me, but the bass sounded pretty hot. Definitely not a fan of the first verse, the guitar sounds a bit too chaotic. Also not the biggest fan of the PreChorus. But the chorus itself is great, and it leads nicely into the first solo. The interlude neat, but could use some more drumming just in the back, keeping the beat. Second solo was fun to listen to. Verse 2 is pretty spiffy, the drum dropout works well, and for some reason, the Pre Chorus sounds a bit better this time. Outro was awesome.
#22
The acoustic intro needs some harmony or some chords or a melody or something to make it flow better, but past that, it's great. Very frantic sounding, kind of gets your heart beating faster. The solos weren't the best I've ever heard, but they were a hell of a lot better than I can write. Just change that intro a bit and It's golden. 9/10.
#23
I agree with everybody that the intro need some work. Use that overdriven guitar to do some leads over it, or just play some chords and make it ring. As it is now i think it was boring and didnt think the song was gonna be any good. But after the long intro you came with these amazing riffs and leads. I realy dig your verse, its awsome. and that desending thing in the chorus is sweet. Your solos are insane, i like them both. Good stuff you got here. Loved every riff except for the intro.

Crit my latest?
#24
I'm liking the intro. Great work except for the first note. What were you thinking? Lol. WOW! You just blew my head off with that sweet main riff. I'm lovin' it. Don't change any of that. Chorus is great, pre-chorus...eh...OK. Solo is great! Nice work on that. Fits the song well. I don't like the second solo as much as the first, but still good. Nice interlude too. Great ending. I'd probably give this song 10/10. It's just perfect.

Crit mine? The second one in my sig.
#25
That's awesome. I love how the bass line compliments the main guitar riff, and the main guitar riff, by the way, kicks ass! Also I like how you kept adding more instrumentation to the intro to build intensity. The solos were clean, and perfect, I could definitely have not written anything better myself!
#26
Cool, despite the intro being quite long it reminded me of wish you were here and enter sandmans intros for some reason. The riff which kicks in afterwards is awesome as is the first the first solo. Nothing much to say about the next bit. The 2nd solo started off ok but then turned into a bit of a mess. Then more raging riffs into a sudden end - good job on the whole - big metallica vibe is noticeable.
If you get chance have a look at my song -
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=654335
#27
Thanks for crit'ing my Thrash song... would you please look at my Folk/Melodic one aswell?? I'll check your other song called "Run Away" in a few minutes!


The accoustic riff is okay but I'm not fond of it that much....

Although, I like very much when the "Enter The Shadows" part (bar 50~60ish??) kicks in!


The main riff is very cool and so is the Pre-Chorus


The solos (both) are simply amazing dude.... Very nice phrasing job!


If you ever record it, let me know!


Thanks!
Note: Sorry if my grammar and/or vocabulary isn't very good, English is my 2nd language!

Quote by Resiliance
you show me yours and I'll show you mine!


If you're wondering where I've been gone, click here!
#29
critting as i listen.

the horn thing at the beginging reminds me of metallicas unfoirgiven II!
i wasnt sure about the acoustic part after that, but when the drums kicked in it sounded pretty cool!
at bar 40 it was a bit like the duelling banjos lmao but it was good, cool riff at 59!
i wasnt fond of the drums in the verse, but the guitar was awesome, the same with the pre chorus a bit.
the chorus sounded must like the verse IMO. but unlike me, atleast you got a killer solo in (im working on mine for my song)!

i like the interlude riff alot! and the second solo was pretty cool aswell! but the chord thign it ended on didnt sound good in midi. maybe it will on real guitar though!

overall, very well written song, 8/10!
I deeply regret the 6661 in my username. Siiiigh. Damn you, 14 year old me, you edgy little bastard.
#30
Damn that intro was boring. Add a synth or an other guitar struming chords, and it would maybe be ok. Then the mainriff came, and what can i say? well, it was awsome as everybody else said. The verse was also kickass, loved the second bar of the verse the most. Pre-chorus was ok, not as kickass as the other riffs. Love your leads dude.
Your interlude is ok, i like the second part of it best. And i actualy liked your second solo, you got one melodic solo, whats wrong with throwing in some shred? nothing, its sweet. And if you can play that **** cleanly you are the good, or maybe not couse its just lots of sweeps, but still, your pretty good then.

EDIT: lol, i didnt know that i had already critted it, sry dude, ill crit some other song then and make sure i havent critted it before.
Last edited by psychotim at Jan 22, 2008,
#31
hey thanks for critiquing my song (the one where I thought it wasn't metal lol)

ok as for this song, I'm not really feeling the intro, it feels tacky/cheesy but having said that it can serve as a single track before the distorted parts kicks in, kind of like an interlude track if you catch my drift.

The main riff sounds like Megadeth to me, which is awesome! The first guitar solo was sweet and fits nicely, def. reminded me of Megadeth once again haha

Not sure how any of this sounds like Lamb of God, has more resemblance to Bodom than LoG.

I really like the 2nd solo, great job, I'm gonna learn it today, and I never usually get around to learning stuff that people have wrote on this site, so kudos for getting me off my lazy ass lol.

Theres really not much here you need to change, its a nice sweet and short metal song, the only thing I can think of is vary the drums a bit but even then it's not necessary.

9/10.

crit my new song? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1014130

thanks!
Last edited by cptazad at Dec 4, 2008,
#32
the accoustic intro was kinda boring to me. you may put some chords under the melody, but that's just my opinion.
the main riff was nothing special, the verse & and the pre chorus were lot more interesting.
and i think you should work on the drums track again, it's kinda empty and boring.
the first guitar solo was great. i very like it.
the second solo kicks asses and the rhythm under that solo, too.
but again the drums, they're boring.

i think that was it, the rest of the song is just a repetition of the parts before.

that wasn't bad, but it's not that amazing, too.
redo the drums and the song would sound more powerful!

crit my song please?
choose one in my sig.
#33
I'd have to agree that the acoustic intro was quite boring. It needed way more acoustic solo fills over it and stuff. and maybe some strummed chords behind it.

as for the rest of the songs, some really cool riffs in there. some flow was a bit off but it reallly didn't bother me much. I think with just a little more variation thrown in there, this could be a really good song.

and pretty awesome solos too.
...Nothing you've ever...
...Planned on ever turned out...
...The way you planned...


...You're still disappointing them...
#34
The acoustic intro had potential in some parts, but for most of it, it was lacking in my opinion.

Main riff is great.

I like the transition to F# in the pre-chorus although that reminded me of metallica.

The solos are great and insane, u know someone has to play those right? lol

I thought the outro could've been better, but overall a solid 8.5/10

Could you crit Never Again in my sig.