Page 1 of 2
#1
Naps will never be the same...

Tired from a long day of swimming and school, I planted my body on the comfortable couch. I laid my head against the arm rest and had my body stretched out in front of me. I fell into a deep sleep...

Meanwhile, Kenny, my brother, was working out at the local 24 Hour Fitness. Three hours after his routine, he came home with a stench that usually stinks up the house for a few hours. However, taking a shower was not on his mind as he walked through the door.

You see: chili, burritos, and tacos are great dinner items. However, one must know how to keep THEIR OWN BODILY GASES TO THEMSELVES...

Kenny, being the 23 year old college student he is, pulls down his pants and sees the victim across the room. He lightly walks toward me (the victim, jackass), and plants his sweaty, rotten, acidic butt cheeks on my face. Then, after a long workout and a previous night full of beans, lets out the longest, most repulsive, sickening, ghastly, sordid, and nauseating fart ever produce on this planet- right into my face

The liquid produced from this juicy fart and the sweat is called


ASS WINE



Awaken from the disturbance, I leap up off of the couch and run towards the bathroom- crying, laughing, and vomiting all at the same time. It was then I realized what the words "brotherly love" meant.

The stench upon my face remained for the next two and a half days- even swimming in a chlorinated pool twice a day.
███████████████
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.
████████████
#3
Just to scare him I would have pulled my weiner out
Quote by IbanezSA160
To make a ringing sound with your guitar, take the guitar and ram it as hard as you can into your balls.


Quote by AdayTripper
If the teletubby has a vagina, I'll stick my dick in there.
#9
i woulda cut off his dick dude, thats so ****ed up. i can't believe you didn't smash his face in with a plate of glass.
I love all forms of Rock 'n' Roll, past and NOT present
#10
HAHA, wow.
Gear:

Dean Razorback NT Bass
Epiphone SG
Yorkville BassmasterXM100
Line 6 Spider II
Boss-Ds-1
Electro-Harmonix Big Muff
Peavey KB3
Equation DS-V7
#11
why would you ever admit that happened to you?
from daylight...
...into darkness
#13
Quote by divid3d
why would you ever admit that happened to you?


It happened a long time ago, only now am I sharing it. lol.


Little fun fact for UG: ass wine does not taste good.
███████████████
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.
████████████
#14
*hugs*

You should kick his ass, or get back at him some other way. That was uncalled for.
#18
Shit, man, I'd kick your brother's face in if I were you.
Loyal Member of the "Pluto Memorial Club." PM Dæmönika
Member 20 of the Steve Irwin Memorial Club, pm Clincher09
Member 4 of UG's Anti-Hunting League - PM Holy Katana
Heretic And Killer, P.M guitar_man_guy or T0xicitY
#20
wow man westo i truly feel ur pain man....
site?
I love music!
I hate how it turns us on each other!
I support music as a whole! not this useless hate!
#23
Quote by Metal claw
Amazing and educational.

I just learned a new word: Sordid.


Metal Claw, you never cease to amaze! i don't know what the "buddy list" in my control panel means, but you're on the list now.


westo, i think you making this thread proves you are one sick perverted bastard. you da man!

BTW i rated this thread 5-stars.
Meadows
Quote by Jackal58
I release my inner liberal every morning when I take a shit.
Quote by SK8RDUDE411
I wont be like those jerks who dedicate their beliefs to logic and reaosn.
Last edited by SomeoneYouKnew at Mar 9, 2007,
#24
Hilarious
This one time I went to fuck my girlfriend, but I forgot it was April Fool's day. Well, I stuck my penis in, and it turns out she had put hot sauce in her pussy. The rest of the night was pretty bad.

0.999... = 1
#27
aw, jesus, reading that ruined my day completely. i was looking forward to going out to lunch earlier. now i just want to curl up in the bath and scrub myself clean. ergh.

reading that's like seeing pictures of a car crash; you just can't look away no matter how nasty and disturbing it is...errrghhh. i feel for you, i really do. your brother ought to be put down.
MEMBER OF THE LAUGAM BRITISH HIT SQUAD! HONORARY MEMBER OF THE SWEDISH LAUGAM HIT SQUAD!
I'M JUST SEE THROUGH FADED, SUPER JADED, AND OUT OF MY MIND
<//////>~ dA
Esther is officially awesome and smart - Frenchy
#28


For men.
███
██████████
███████████
██████
████████
#30
Atleast it wasn't balls sweat
███
██████████
███████████
██████
████████
#31
hahahahhahahahahahasghasyfdhahahsagdsvfhgashah. -My mouth broke for laughing at your life.
Quote by sg255
This fine fellow speaks the truth.


Quote by GD_GC
dude sonic music??? you're my hero!

Quote by tanglewoodguit
Love you


Quote by Jackolas
#32
hahahaha, So did this "ass wine" spray into your face or something?
BRIGHT LIGHTS PUT ME IN A TRANCE.
but it aint house music that makes me want to dance.
#33
ass wine ahahahh

Just as i was doubting these forums. Im glad i came here. very funny indeed.
ENGL Fireball
Framus 2x12
Ibanez RG1570 - DM Breeds
Epi Les Paul - Warthog Pup
MXR 10 Band EQ
TS9
ISP Decimator
Boss DD3
EHX Holy Grail
EHX Small Clone
Dunlop Crybaby

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10rdcKp317I - New X-men Theme Vid
#35
I've never been so disgusted and impressed with your writing skills in my life.
Main Gear:
Cort G-Series 254
Takamine EG345C 12-String
Fender Squier P-Bass

Peavey Classic 50
Laney HCM65B

$75 Junk Drums w/ B8 Hats/Crash/Ride
#37
Nice, I'm glad I don't have brothers.
Quote by Zeppfreak170
I onece dumped a girl that I was seeing who already had a boyfriend... So anyway she put on like a stone and i dumped her telling her it was because i felt really guilty etc etc.

But really it's cos she got fat!

No fat chicks !
#38
Quote by Metal claw
Amazing and educational.

I just learned a new word: Sordid.


So did I: Ass

And, owned.
#39
Quote by Ex'sAndOh's


For men.




oooh my god. perfect
███████████████
We are the music makers, we are the dreamers of dreams.
████████████
#40
ooowwwwwwnnnneddd.....
Songs!
Something's Changed
Frost

BC Rich Mockingbird Evil Edge
Dean Palomino Vintage Sunburst
Indiana Scout Acoustic in Sparkly Blue
Kustom Arrow 16DFX, soon to be a Vox Valvetronix 50
Dimebag Custom Crybaby
Fab Tone
Page 1 of 2