#1
Search for my victim that's on my list
My touches are as fatal as a lying woman's kiss
You told me to not curse you with death but you're the one
Who cursed yourself death. I'm only taking the thing
That you wasted and a valuable thing is called
Life, you can follow the reaper but there is no
Deal cause the blood on the contact was sealed.



I'm the reaper, I'm the most feared gatekeeper,
I kill for a living, and I massacre the undead unforgiving



You can run but you can't hide from me cause my blade is a
Forceful waves of suicides .I killed important people
Killers, Heros, and gods, they begged for their life
In a quick site of cold flesh, their bodies stuffed in a
Casket with billions of souls ripping of their flesh and bones
They use their only bones to kill their children at birth
But use their blood to drown their self



1666 the year I was killed and Friday the thirteen
Is the day I was buried, I got buried in the 13 grave
Anger and sorrow could not give me mercy on my
Satanic soul all it did is burn a deep black
Hole through my skin and blow torch my skin off
Black bones and hell red eyes was now me
Now the world will fear the key


I'm the reaper, I'm the most feared of gatekeeper,
I kill for a living, and I massacre the undead living
#2
Search for my victim that's on my list worded akwardly, keep the rhyme but change the wording.
My touches are as fatal as a lying woman's kiss
You told me to not curse you with death but you're the one
Who cursed yourself death. I'm only taking the thing
That you wasted and a valuable thing is called these three lines didnt make sense to me at first, i had to read it several times to work out what you were saying.
Life, you can follow the reaper but there is no
Deal cause the blood on the contact was sealed. very bad wording...

The first part has very good ideas but your english must not be that good. Try and make it clearer, so that you dont have to be an english major to decipher it!

I'm the reaper, I'm the most feared gatekeeper,
I kill for a living, and I massacre the undead unforgiving These two lines were offbeat when I read them, they didnt seem to fit together. Maybe make one longer or make the other shorter. Lose some syllibles in each rhyme also.



You can run but you can't hide from me cause my blade is a
Forceful waves of suicides .I killed important people
Killers, Heros, and gods, they begged for their life
In a quick site of cold flesh, their bodies stuffed in a
Casket with billions of souls ripping of their flesh and bones
They use their only bones to kill their children at birth
But use their blood to drown their self

I couldnt make sense of this either. You really need to polish your english next time, im not saying the peice is bad, just unreadable.



1666 the year I was killed and Friday the thirteenth
Is the day I was buried, I got buried in the 13th grave
Anger and sorrow could not give me mercy on my
Satanic soul all it did is burn a deep black
Hole through my skin and blow torch my skin off
Black bones and hell red eyes was now me
Now the world will fear the key

I did understand this, but it was just jibberish about how you were killed and death and blow torching off your skin... this is where I am turned off by your peice. Not only is it terribly worded, but it is getting too violent.

I'm the reaper, I'm the most feared of gatekeeper,
I kill for a living, and I massacre the undead living


I didnt like this peice. Terrible grammar, too gruesome, but that all can be fixed with a little practice. You will get better at writing lyrics.