#1
This was fucking difficult.

I stare at the moon, hair erect upon my back,
and I can make out different shades of distant shadows.
They dance silently. The air is stone cold
and my breath forms twisting shapes in the night.
I can hear strange noises, echoing from somewhere.
Soon, before my eyes, there is a light.

I begin to run. Panting, I make my way towards that light,
the noises still behind me, but I refuse to look back.
My head darts left and right, looking for somewhere
to hide, should I find myself chased upon by shadows.
I need to find a place to stay. I need to leave behind the night
and to find someplace to give me shelter from the cold.

I see the place to give me shelter; it looks cold,
inhospitable, and gothic, but I’m too drawn to the light.
The shapes and figures of the forest encroach upon me in the night.
A figure at the window; I take a faltering step back;
there are children in the wall, making friends with dusty shadows.
They do not move, they make no noise, but they exist…somewhere.

I swear I have seen the house before, but it was somewhere
else, a place where the sun never shines and it is forever cold,
where people come out to play, only at the word of the ruling shadows.
Slowly, I make my way up the drive. Above the door, a light
shines brightly, and I breathe a sigh of relief, for it keeps the shadows back,
and slowly I step inside before I’m devoured by the night.

I’m thankful to be inside, away from the fright’ning night.
The figure is standing at the top of the stairs. She came from somewhere
in the house I hadn’t seen. She turned and she went back
towards the room she came from. The draught from the open door was cold
and it sent shivers racing down my spine. I heard a click, out went the lights
and I was alone in darkness, and I heard the whispers of the shadows.

Up the stairs I charged, evading the claws of foreign, screaming shadows.
I entered the room. The window was open, filtering in the night.
She was sitting on her bed, looking up at me with a face so light
and I swear I had seen her face in a place far away…somewhere
else
. She knew I recognised her, and her expression became that of stone:
You are a fool, my son; you know you can’t turn back.

I stare at her back, and on it dances the shadows;
her eyes are stony cold, but they dance like fire in the night;
And somewhere in another room, a scream. I embrace the light.
#2
Respect.
I liked it alot.
it just had some stumbly bits where the wording gets TOO repetitice, though it's hard to get around that in a sestina.
Not really mush to crit except the main thing I don't like is the present tense rambling idea...I would prefer to see past tense.
Well done though, like you said, fucking difficult.
I have one too in my sig.
if you want.
But really I would prefer a comment on
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=542063
Thanks.
#5
I agree with Simba here. You really made it look easy. My favorite part of all was the part where the stanza ended in "...Somewhere" and the line immediately afterward using "somewhere." I thought the way you used both of them was really creative, the stuff of a solid sestina!

Way to go. I dig this.