#1
plz tell me how you like this song about a girl the singer is obsessed with.

she's got spunk, she's all right
she sends a chill down my spine
i nearly faint as she passes by
i lose my mind lookin' into her eyes
she's a trouble lady, no doubts there
with her pretty face and her long brown hair
her eyes are rays that hold my gaze
and i know deep down that i can't stay away cuz shes a

spinetingler
heartbreaker
breathtaker
and i cant turn away from her
no i cant get her off my mind
cuz shes got a hold on me
and i cant turn away from her no more

she's black and white, she's hot and cool
she's day and night, and im her fool
my heart skips a beat when our eyes meet
she means trouble from head to feet
i might pass out when she comes near
i go crazy and filled with fear
but i keep trying, she keeps lying, and
o every time baby i keep dying

(chorus)
(instrumental coda)
(chorus)

thanks for reading
#2
i like it, but a few of the lines are sorta gay. depending on the mood of the song you want its up to you, but if it was me id change the words a little bit less from "o i love her, im pussywhipped" to "damn she's hot, lets ****"
#6
lol its cool the harshest criticism will be the one that grabs my attention

and thanks other guy thats what i was thinking too was the problem - it is a little sissy at parts. im definitely going to revise some of the biggest offending lines

if u want to hear the instrumental, u can go to www.myspace.com/twentyminutemilenowhalfprice and listen to it on the player - the words arent in it yet tho.
Last edited by mrdude9192 at Mar 11, 2007,