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#1
Basically, my bandmates love cakes, and so we're going to the bake sale, but we're gonna hold a competition to see who can get slapped the most, so.

...and I need some help coming up with cake-related chat up lines.

Here are a few I came up with:

"Hey there, I'll have two of your big ones please."
"Nice cakes, wanna f*ck?"
"I'd like to put my silver balls on you..."
"Oh yeah, I'd like to make cakes with you, darlin'."
"Hey, I'm looking to drizzle sauce on all your pretty baps."

As you can see, they're kind of shit.

So, can the collective intellect of UG come up with truly award winning jokes, so that I can exploit them into winning a pint?
#2
Let me put my icing on your cake;
I love [my cake] moist;
Can I put my cake in your oven...


The list is really endless.
Terms and Conditions apply.
#3
nice baps
i wanna lick your baps
could i put whipped cream on your baps and lick it off


^^all quite poor but at least your guaranteed a slap!
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Quote by ShadesOfNight
I'm not a sadistic person, but I'd like to pull the wings off every fly in the world so they all starve to death or get eaten alive by spiders

#4
"And then you give the eggs a good beatin'..."
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#5
you want to get slapped the most? Go "GIVE ME A GODDAMN ****ING PIECE OF CAKE YOU UGLY BITCH." I know you said their hot, but if you call them ugly they'll get mad and slap you.
Quote by larrytheguitar

I put the blanket over me and make my knees into a 'tent' so he couldn't see my boner. I jizzed while he gave me a lecture on using coasters.


BETWEEN THE BURIED AND ME IS ALWAYS RELEVANT
#7
"Can I have some sex with that cake?"
"I'd stir your cake mix"
"Hey. Wanna make baps with me?"
Quote by iHurricaneGTR

Goats are like mushrooms.
When you shoot a duck,
I'm afraid of toasters.

Quote by Avedas
South Korea should have their Starcraft league members double as military strategists.
#8
"Are these cakes made with home brewed milk?"
Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#11
"Don't you think cakes look better glazed, too?"
"I bet you love kneading dough"

I know, they suck
According to BS statistics, 92% of teens have moved on to rap. If you're among the 8% who doesn't consider rap to be real music, donate your brains, as you clearly aren't using them.
#12
If you want to get slapped....
- "Hey chubby, I didn't think YOU were supposed to be eating the cakes."
When crying don't help
You can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem
An honest verse of longing
Or a simple song of hope...
#13
"So I noticed you're out of the kitchen, woman"

"Got any bread I can put my balony in?"

"Your sandwhich will make a great sextoy!"
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#14
spit on a cake!

♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫♪♫

._: Gear :_.
1952 Reissue Fender Strat
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#15
Quote by Kensai
"So I noticed you're out of the kitchen, woman"

Thats great! It MUST be used.
Quote by iHurricaneGTR

Goats are like mushrooms.
When you shoot a duck,
I'm afraid of toasters.

Quote by Avedas
South Korea should have their Starcraft league members double as military strategists.
#16
Quote by Sean_16
spit on a cake!



Co-President of UG's Tubgirl Virgins Club

#19
hey you got any upsidedown cake, if not, I can do you the favor

how much can I sell my banana nut bread for?

watch out I might shove my cake in your face

they say in ladies it goes straight to your thighs in men it goes straight to...well you know

wanna know how those donuts got there holes....hands on experience...ZING!
#20
Quote by y2james2007 :p
PLEASE film this!


If I get a camera, I will.

My singer has one, hopefully he can make it.
#21
slap her in the face with your ****.. =)
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace."
- Jimi Hendrix (R.I.P)

"Nobody dies a virgin... Life fucks us all."
- Kurt Donald Cobain (R.I.P)
#22
could you taste my batter and tell me what you think
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#25
"you know, I couldn't help but notice how great your cakes are. Wanna f*ck?"

"They say you need to put a lot of love into a cake. I'd sure like to put a lot of love into you."


"So you can cook... can you clean?" at this point whip out your penis.

"You know what this cake sale needs? A hotdog stall. You get your baps out, and I'll slap my hotdog in them."

All out for now.
#26
Quote by Deliriumbassist
"you know, I couldn't help but notice how great your cakes are. Wanna f*ck?"

"They say you need to put a lot of love into a cake. I'd sure like to put a lot of love into you."


"So you can cook... can you clean?" at this point whip out your penis.

"You know what this cake sale needs? A hotdog stall. You get your baps out, and I'll slap my hotdog in them."

All out for now.



Deliriumbassist ftw.
Dickless.
#27
Quote by Deliriumbassist
"you know, I couldn't help but notice how great your cakes are. Wanna f*ck?"

"They say you need to put a lot of love into a cake. I'd sure like to put a lot of love into you."


"So you can cook... can you clean?" at this point whip out your penis.

"You know what this cake sale needs? A hotdog stall. You get your baps out, and I'll slap my hotdog in them."

All out for now.



#28
Does your mother make cakes to because I would like to shit on both your tits and then eat cake
#29
if you actually somehow get some pussy out of this brian, i will be amazed...
Quote by BrianApocalypse
Rancid are the best punk band ever.

Tim Armstrong is a songwriting genius, is a complete fashion diva and has an incredible singing voice.

He doesn't sound like Opie from family guy at all.
#30
Quote by IbanezSA160a
you want to get slapped the most? Go "GIVE ME A GODDAMN ****ING PIECE OF CAKE YOU UGLY BITCH." I know you said their hot, but if you call them ugly they'll get mad and slap you.


+1 u cant beat a classic like that

but yea please film, u know pit rules; no pics or vids = it didn't happen
#31
slap her first. just out of know where, you will get a slap.
Quote by BrianApocalypse
Rancid are the best punk band ever.

Tim Armstrong is a songwriting genius, is a complete fashion diva and has an incredible singing voice.

He doesn't sound like Opie from family guy at all.
#32
this would be so funny to whatch. where in southampton are you?
Quote by sg255
This fine fellow speaks the truth.


Quote by GD_GC
dude sonic music??? you're my hero!

Quote by tanglewoodguit
Love you


Quote by Jackolas
#33
Take a cake and walk away. if they try and stop you, say "yeah, i dont have any money, but i do have a penis, if ya know what i mean"
#34
Hey spoon! still not changing your name to forks?
Quote by sg255
This fine fellow speaks the truth.


Quote by GD_GC
dude sonic music??? you're my hero!

Quote by tanglewoodguit
Love you


Quote by Jackolas
#35
"i lost my phone number in one of your cakes... can i have yours instead?"
Quote by DaddyTwoFoot
If your vegetarian girl harasses you about eating meat, snap back with, "Eating more entirely defenseless plants that provide us with oxygen?"

That'll shut that bitch up faster than two black eyes.


#37
You know, they used to call me the muffin man...

I like to lick the insides of my oreos first.

I'm having a party in my pants in a few minutes, so why don't you bring two of those carrot cakes and I'll show you how donuts are made.

You know, you'd probably get a lot more money if you were selling sex.

Ok, I have to come clean. The only thing I've been able to think about for the past 15 minutes is the threesome between you, me, and Mrs. Butterworth.
Alta Vera - My real life alternative rock band.
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PSN: whatev27

Let me ask you, does a machine like yourself ever experience fear?

Last edited by NovemberRain273 at Mar 12, 2007,
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