#1
hello everyone, this is actually my 1st attempt at writing a song. I finally sat down and wrote about something that happened in my life. I have no idea what it should sound like , i was thinking maybe an acoustic song but i dont think it would fit the song. Thought i do think it would sound good if a band like Atreyu were to play it. I luv the way their singing arrangements. Im really trying to bring this song to life , fyi i do play guitar, im just having trouble hearing a good rythm for the song. anyway any input would be more than helpful and if the song sucks then let me know lol , thanks

THE DECIEVED NO LONGER

Our fire was distinguished long ago.
Your memories rubbing me like salt in an open wound,
ascending upon me with the wrath of a thousand dejected souls.
My feelings for you will no longer dictate my life.
No longer will you control this machine.
No longer will your love fuel my life.
Youve held my heart hostage for to long.
Now you will see what it's like to hurt.
Now you will see what it's like to die inside.


You broke the innocence within me,
then kicked me out your life and left me for dead.
But i have risen again, My how the tides have changed.
My hurt, My feelings, are no longer what aggravate my world.
I've shed the skin of our life together,
god knows I deserve better than the shit hole you call a heart.

This is redemption for me.
No longer will I be the decieved.
Drowning out broken promises.
Of love
Of trust
Of unjust heartache
Take these words from my mouth
and hear them well.
for It will be me left smiling when all is said and done.
#3
Read the FAQ...


this is gonna get closed
Quote by joshjhasarrived
Little does the government suspect that it's funds are being rapidly drained through funding infinite free cardboard boxes to bored teenagers on an internet forum.
#5
Quote by primusucks
Why do people say in the title "song i wrote," who else would've written it?


Embrace the Bobby McFerrin, primu.
#6
Please check out the FAQ and repost this with a proper title. It's a quick read, and it'll stop future posts from getting closed. Thanks
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#7
Quote by Mistress Alia
Embrace the Bobby McFerrin, primu.


^^

"Dont worry, be happy."


Closed
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.