#1
Last week, my friend and I had a bit of a fight... My question to all of you is simply, who is wrong here?

We were having a debate about drugs. She is a very religious person and is very stubborn and is the kind of person that always has to be right. Always. I am also stubborn but i tend to have a temper when arguing so this was a very tense situation.

Somehow, the topic of my other friends death came up (she died in january of a drug overdose, the friend i was arguing with never knew her). The friend that i was arguing with (her name is Allyson) was saying that my friends death was completely her own fault. No one to blame but herself and if she hadn't been so stupid and doing drugs to begin with she would have never died.

I have not yet gotten over her death and of course this really really upset me. Eventually i started yelling and said said basically that she was a god forsaken idiot and needed to shut up because everything she said was bullshit.

I left and did not come back. This week i talked to her and she said that if i ever talk to her like that in front of her son she'd kill me (which by the way he wasn't in the room at the time). And that i shouldnt have taken what she said to litteraly because she's just stubborn like that and that if i was her friend then i would have realized that. My argument is that if she was really my friend she would have realized that i still feel like shit because of it and i dont want to hear those sort of things...

I'm still pretty pist, and she wont talk to me, which is fine, but am i really in the wrong?
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#4
She shouldn't have been so insensative about someone's death. Regardless of the cause. Especially if you were close with the woman that died.
#6
She's wrong. She should pull her head out of her ass. Even if your friend was a closet serial killer you're still entitled a grieving period.
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#7
yes youre both in the wrong...her for ignorance, you for freaking out. i would say that she needs to realize that you have feelings too, and that she does need to be more sympathetic with her words. You just need to chill out and tell her that wasnt cool at all what you said..its ok to get mad, but dont freak out like that...
#10
I think both of you need to light up a couple of big doobies with each other, listen to DMB's "Crash Into Me", chill out, make up, and call it a day.
#11
Quote by Arthur Curry
She shouldn't have been so insensative about someone's death. Regardless of the cause. Especially if you were close with the woman that died.

i agree
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#13
well, she did OD on drugs. If she took them voluntarily, I'd say it was her fault.

That's not to say come tact doesn't help situations like this.
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#14
she was my best friend for almost 7 years... started to lose touch after i moved and one day i get a call at work saying she died of a drug overdose...

Allyson knows these things and I'm really not over it and she knows at least that much for a fact...
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#15
sorry about your loss dude
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#16
she was insensitive, so she's wrong
you're wrong too - with the abuse you gave her, but you had a reason

if you took it too far, apologise, you're in the wrong
she may respect you more if you apologise. if she doesnt change her opinion of you, don't talk to her again. she isnt worth your time

and she wont literally kill you. She's just a cow
#17
she's in the wrong. when she said "if you were my friend you would realise that" she's simply victimizing herself to try and shift the blame. she should have realised that you have not gotten over it yet.
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#18
Quote by Arthur Curry
She shouldn't have been so insensative about someone's death. Regardless of the cause. Especially if you were close with the woman that died.

+1
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#19
And if it counts for anything, her boyfriend administered it into her and is in prison now for it...
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#20
you guys should just get high....
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#21
Quote by rbmason
well, she did OD on drugs. If she took them voluntarily, I'd say it was her fault.

That's not to say come tact doesn't help situations like this.



partially...but whose to say why she was taking drugs in the first place...maybe she was depressed...maybe it was her way of getting away from the world...it could have been some stupid mistake that she took too much...us not even knowing her doesnt give us the right to judge...same with this guys friend
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#23
actions work better than words...


shes in the wrong, she shouldnt say that about someone that died, even if they died 20 years ago, you could still miss them.
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#24
Quote by JC13
Wait, so it wasn't your friends will?


no one knows, the autopsy confirmed that there were 2 "street drugs" in her. My guess being meth and h., meth because her mom said at the funeral she had started it a few months before and heroin because her boyfriend was a major addict.

my guess is that she was already high and that he didn't realize it and gave her a litte extra to give her a good first time on heroin...
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#26
Well, I think that her death may have been her own fault, however she should be more sensitive. When somebody dies, it really doesn't matter whose fault it is that they are dead, one should be sensitive about it.
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#27
my mate died a few years ago but i ever used it to back up myself or hide behind it, i heard people insult him after his death, and all i said was shut the **** up and that was the end of never tried draggin it out like a soap opera, people die and people will say thinks about em after there death and really theres piss all to do bout it other than corse problems for yourself if you feel strongly about emso just let it go its a circle with no loop i am a pasive person i let things go over my head, people say things to make them selfs look good and at the end of the day i know im a "better" person if you like cause i aint using death as an excuse or a scapegoat,

#28
Quote by Hawk127
You're both wrong.


yes they are but i am right. She has a good point saying that it was your friends fault HOWEVER it's not her place to even say such a thing considering she never knew the person and she should know that you're still upset about it
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#29
Quote by beeboshain
my mate died a few years ago but i ever used it to back up myself or hide behind it, i heard people insult him after his death, and all i said was shut the **** up and that was the end of never tried draggin it out like a soap opera, people die and people will say thinks about em after there death and really theres piss all to do bout it other than corse problems for yourself if you feel strongly about emso just let it go its a circle with no loop i am a pasive person i let things go over my head, people say things to make them selfs look good and at the end of the day i know im a "better" person if you like cause i aint using death as an excuse or a scapegoat,


you babble marvelously..

and no one is using her as a scapegoat or an excuse to make anyone look good...
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-- Arthur Honegger

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#30
Dying of a drug overdose is the persons own fault, but your friend need to learn to shut her god damn mouth and learn whats not appropriate to say
#31
Quote by NOtrab
partially...but whose to say why she was taking drugs in the first place...maybe she was depressed...maybe it was her way of getting away from the world...it could have been some stupid mistake that she took too much...us not even knowing her doesnt give us the right to judge...same with this guys friend


It doesn't matter why we all have a thing called will power, people need to stop making excuses for their habbits.