#1
Hey, tell me what you think of this song, Tell me if i should burn it, or if i can make it into something. Thanks

Hey you wierd uped Jerk
I knwo your plans, I see your smirk
FREAKING QUIRK!

I know!!! I know you wanna take N' use her
Shake her out, then abuse her
AHH!! GARRRR!!!!!!

Well dude i got news for you
Ya' lay one hand on her, if ya' do
OHHEEWW!!!

I'll bust your face apart
N' roll you off a cliff in a cart
DONT BREAK HER HEART!!!

(CHORUS)
Yous should know she's better than that
Leave her alone you dirty rat
WHAT!?!?!?!
You Should KNow She's Better Than That!!!
(end o' chorus)

Now if you don't leave her alone I'll bust your head
N" PUMP YOU FULLA" LED!!!
In the ned you'll wish you were dead

You think I'll stand by n' watch you demolish her?
Youve gotta get through me before her
C"MON MAN LETS GO!!!

While i'm writing this song I am in rage
It's like you got that poor girl penned up in a cage
DON"T MAKE ME COME OF STAGE!!!!

Tell her another one of those lies
I'll take a bat smash your thighs
THE WHOLE WROLD WILL HEAR YOUR MURDEROUS CRIES!!!

(chorus)
You SHould Know she's better than that
Leave her alone you dirty rat
WHAT!?!??!
YOU SHOULD KNOW SHE"S BETTER THAN THAT!!!

then i go into a solo
#2
haha, this is kinda funny
looks like you hate that guy, and it really shows.
maybe just skip the word WHAT. it feels strange
or let a second singer/screamer do the WHAT and other words in caps
make it an agressive song with lots and lots of noise and stuff.
and a very fast solo

if you want; you can rate some of mine:
http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=544812

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/foru...ad.php?t=544279
thnx
#3
I vote for burning it.
Encore God & Asomodai- UG JHS Brotherhood

Encore God: fighting UG Zeppelin-centrism since 2002.
#4
don't need to burn it, it's not a song that'll really get inside of you and make you sad or something like that, but with a strong backup it could be a great song to mosh to.

imho