#1
There is a rather obvious pattern in here when you see it as a whole.

The alarm clock rang me awake for my death
The walls gave to me the echoes
And they stung me
Always hurt me

The guard came to collect me sometime before sunhigh
And then he did give to me a warm handshake
His fulfilling smile to me was a godsend
He paused, scanned me, seemed to read my thoughts
He smiled, offered me his hand and I took it

He led me down a dark corridor
And through this dark we came upon a door
Casting the ugly dark aside

We were outside now, gazing at the sky
This outside world seemed to be so different from the window in my cell
Outside was where I wanted to be; now I was

He led me to a tree
On this large tree hung strange fruit
On this old tree hung the bodies of my friends
On the big tree my body swayed gently in the summer breeze
#2
it doesnt really click with me ^^; its just not my style. i love the title tho. 7.5/10
#3
Hmm. It's not bad and I love the imagery, especially the daylight and brightness being nice and then the bodies hanging. Some lovely contrast there. Still, there are way too many pronouns and simple sentences that take away from the overall impact of this piece. Too much "and then we this" "and then we that" and not enough room for us to really get emotionally involved in it. Still a nice start.

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