#1
hey guys, wrote this song listening to a bit of Mudvayne, so it might show a little bit. I have written the drums, but just kept the same beat throughout, (except for the breakdown part, which i want to keep) but besides that i need help.. any critique would be appreciated. thnx
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#2
I'd have to say that probably was one of the better "hardcore" songs I've ever heard on the UG... I was actually able to listen to it... up until the breakdown, something about that just relaly bothered me. also the lack of going above the 5th fret made it seem like it would be a bore to play. Also, if you want to make it sound heavier you should have Drop C tuning, and Personally, in the breakdown, instead of just making it a variation of the main riff in the song, I would make it a much higher pitched, and faster (using 16ths), riff. The breakdown in there now just really leaves no impression on me whatsoever. And as I'm sure most people on the boards will say, try adding triplets here and there to give it more "flavor".


There ya go... overall, 5.5/10 for now, 8/10 if you make it more original....

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#3
To tell the entire truth, this is pretty awful, just because it's so generic. I've heard this same thing a million times before, and this has no original flare to it. Spend some time, look at the key you're in, and write some interesting leads or something to go along with it, because right now, this is something that anyone anywhere could sit down and write, quickly at that. It has no feeling and no pizzazz, so put some of your own original stuff in there and use more of the fretboard...

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#4
im going to have to agree with MadMudgeN on the generic part, but i always expect that from hardcore. i would also agree that you need to use more of the fret board there were a total of like 5 notes in the hole song but thats again a very hardcore thing ( not saying you cant but 99% of hardcore guitarist just cant play guitar thats why its all so generic)

Mabey its just not my kinda music but overall i thought it was unispired, repetitve and blank 4/10
#5
extremely generic, just uninspiring riffs theyre woud have to be an insane vocal performance over that to make it interest, i dont understand why you put in a breakdown if theyre was no solo, the riffs were to bsic and boring, maybe if you put soome little melodies over the top of the riffs it might be good but at the moment its just the bare bones of a song and unless you add some leads or something to break from the monotony i dont see much point in the song. sorry.
#6
Quote by ch715dallat
extremely generic, just uninspiring riffs theyre woud have to be an insane vocal performance over that to make it interest, i dont understand why you put in a breakdown if theyre was no solo, the riffs were to bsic and boring, maybe if you put soome little melodies over the top of the riffs it might be good but at the moment its just the bare bones of a song and unless you add some leads or something to break from the monotony i dont see much point in the song. sorry.


Well it's hardcore... it's supposed to be monotonous...

But I can actually imagine this as a filler in a mediocre hardcore band's debut album. And well yeah it was a little too monotonous. Even for a hardcore song. And it seems that you couldn't decide if you wanted an interlude or a breakdown in the song. An interlude could have used some solos and leads in it... and for a breakdown you should have slowed down the tempo. But overall it was decent... for a hardcore song.
#7
I dont even know if this is hardcore.
You need to definitly use better notes, better ryhtmn, write a proper breakdown, and probably increase the speed to.

As if hardcore is monotonous i don't know what you listen to but i know some wicked hardcore bands that have about 4 tempo changes in every song. Mono means single.