#1
I have always had a very direct style when it comes to lyrics, diving head in and going for agression and rawness. Recently, I came to question this as I was working on a new song about the feeling anger. I decided to try and widen my views, and as this was the one song made for simple, angry lyrics I saw it as a perfect opportunity to use it as a means of experimantation. Below, you can see the results:
Painted the wall
The wall is red
As red as my fist
My friend is dead

Remembers days gone by
Distant memories eyes closed now
Perversed truth raped reality
Always hate, never love

Wrath
It's the feeling that burns
Wrath
Forever feeding the worm
Wrath
Returned to the soil
Wrath

What's done is done
Reversed birth
My friend and me
Is now in the earth

A glare from a stranger
The knife in my back
The world is now my enemy
My heart tainted black

I know it wasn't always this way
I used to be, be one of you
But something has changed inside of me
Should have trusted, those who knew

Knew me
Before it all faded away
Fading to black
Black abyss

Wrath
The language of the mad
Wrath
A lesson never learned
Wrath
You'll find it in me
Wrath

I did you so much wrong
And with you also me
I knew I threw my life away
Through my hate I couldn't see

Wrath
It's the feeling that burns
Wrath
Forever feeding the worm
Wrath
Returned to the soil
Wrath

Any feedback would be welcome, even if it's as simple as "nice" or "**** you".
Also, if the genre of the music is something that would have an effect on your judgement, I don't mind telling you we play a form of extreme metal (well, not extreme extreme, but still, pretty extreme ). Think Pantera but without the Godlike guitarist, basically.
#3
Quote by i_got_novacain
is this about the ra?

Well, actually it is about anger and rage. Ira his latin for wrath (as in the deadly sin), hence the name.
#6
Quote by KotsPis
nice text, fits the genre you play.
i like the name, because Wrath would be kinda simple
what i don't like that much is your intro, the idea behind it is perfect, maybe a rewrite it a little bit?


Crit mine if you want:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544279

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544812

Thanks for the input, I'll keep that in mind.

And I critted both for good measure.

lamo were talking about two very different things here,but nice lyrics

Heh, yeah, I was pretty baffled when I saw your first reply, I guess I'll get that a lot in the future.

Oh, and thanks man!
#7
I like the way it flows. It has the cadence of a battalion of high stepping russian solider on a parade march. Perfect for a strong beat. Oh and angry is good sometimes you know. Now your challenge is to write 6 more pieces with the other deadliest sins and have a wicked concept album.
I got nothin to say so no one can hold nothin against me
#8
Quote by johnnys42
I like the way it flows. It has the cadence of a battalion of high stepping russian solider on a parade march. Perfect for a strong beat. Oh and angry is good sometimes you know. Now your challenge is to write 6 more pieces with the other deadliest sins and have a wicked concept album.

Way ahead of you, dad! :P
We have soon finnished the four or five first of the seven songs. We are currently in the lyrics, solos and general tydying up stage for all of the songs.

Thanks a lot for the thoughts, and great minds think alike, huh?