#8
i like the progression, its very chill and relaxed
keep working on the vocals, they have potential though
if you get a band together, it would be sweet to start the song acoustic, and then at 1:25 or so, just have a full band kick in...although thats easier said than done
overall its really good, and you have a lot of freedom to work with it too
#9
if the vocals where a little higher, other than that, good chord changes and everything, maybe use a microphone to make vocals louder
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#11
The progression sounds very much like Dashboard's Dusk And Summer (not in the "omfg plagiarist!!!" way, in the "nice, breezy chords" way. I really like it. Keep it up, you clearly have talent.

Vocals clearly have potential, you stay in key etc., but I could highly recommend even just taking one or two singing lessons, to learn how to project and use your voice correctly.
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#13
Hmm. Two main things I'm thinking that might be improved.

I'm really bothered by the sliding noise that you make at the beginning of the song when changing chords. That, and the vocals aren't distinct and I can't make out what you're saying.

Beyond that, I like this. The nice breezy chords are great, and I can totally imagine a full band jumping in on the song around halfway with bass and drums and stuff.

Also, the ending - with the whole "I wish" thing going on - is awesome. Loved that part.

Anyway, thanks for the crit.
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#14
I just typed this long thin and my comp froze - damn. good job, though. All i said before was that the mic may have picked up the sliding noise between chords and I couldn't really understand lyrics very much but the chord progression and melody sounded great. I wish that hadn't been deleted. Great job, though. This is exactly what people want to hear for this genre and with a little work this could be a really great song. Keep it up. Mind critting mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=547373
#15
When I saw you there
I knew right away
that i loved your face
i loved your hair
i just loved the fact that you were right there next to me
on a crowded street
i could tell from your face
that you loved me
that you loved me
that you loved me
that you loved me

Now i wish
that we could be together forever
Now I wish
that life wasn't so cruel
To me and you
Now I wish
that forever and ever
i could tell you i love you

Now
When I look around
you arent there and i fall to the ground
When you left
You told me not to forget
that you loved me
that you loved me
that you loved me

[instrumental verse]

How I wish
that we could've been together forever
How I wish
That life wasnt so cruel
To me and you

i love you
and you love me


there are the lyrics incase anybody wanted them... there not that great... i cant write very good lyrics... i focus more on guitar... they may not be exactly word for word in the song because sometimes i sing what sounds better when i start playing so yeah....
#16
I really liked it.. I don't listen a lot to acoustic music, but I liked this... Couldn't hear the vocals that much though.
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#17
I really like the chords. The lyrics are basic, but they should be. It works that way. I don't know if its the camera, but your guitar has this really full ringing sound that I like a lot. This could be a hit, it moves extremely well. Great work.
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#21
i like how you used more original/different/harder chords than regular chords around the first and third frets such as D G A, etc. i cant really hear the lyrics due to the recording quality, but i really like the melody of the song, and i think you vocals would sound better on a different quailty recording. overall i really enjoyed it
#22
Good job. Kind of a classic sounding chord progression, in a good way. Echoing everyone else, the vocals were not really audible enough for me to make comments either way.

This is a good basic song. Simple chords, simple melody, simple lyrics (take that in a positive way, not a criticism). The great thing is that if you decide to do more with this, like actually try to make a recording and not just a live video, there are so many possibilities. For starters, if you record the guitar and then can sing along without playing, you'll be able to concentrate on the vocals and melody more and I'm sure it will be even better. Then, you can double track and sing an octave up for part of the song, or harmonize with yourself. Or create a second backing melody. And I haven't even gotten into what you could do with more guitar tracks or more instruments.

For the songwriting, one idea might be to add a bridge with a key change. Just to add some contrast.

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#23
Nice rythm to the song. Its got a pretty nice chord progression, nothing groundbreaking but still good. I like where its going with the vocal melody, but the lyrics and vocals are the weakness of the song. They certainly arent terrible, but certainly arent the greatest. Thats something that can be worked on though. Id like to hear a little more change in the song. I think it tends to get a little repetitive. Maybe add a bridge that sounds pretty different from the main riff. good job overall though.