#2
I dunno... maybe you can get Radiohead to tell him/her they're dumped. And they'll start crying.
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#3
Quote by bash.org
<AVX885> i'm going to break up with my girlfriend, she is cheating on me
<sprtzntm77> dude, this is perfect... ok heres what you do
<sprtzntm77> dont mention this to her, and get in her pants one last time, make it really rough.
<AVX 885> i like where this is going..
<sprtzntm77> right, so.. **** her nice and rough-like and just before she is about to cum, pull out.
<AVX 885> haha, go on
<sprtzntm77> pull out and dont say a word. Go get your pants and put em back on, and say somthing along the lines of "i dont think our relationship is gonna work out, im breaking up with you. goodbye"
<AVX 885> HAHA, nice!
<sprtzntm77> so keep an emotionless face and dont respond to anything she says. While your putting on your socks, mutter somthing about forgetting to pick up your syphilis antibiotics. That'll really get her freaked out.
<AVX 885> LMAO! This is golden, i have to pull this off..
<sprtzntm77> dude.. before this all goes down.. i'll hide either under the bed or in the closet. While your on your way to the door, turn around and say, "hey mark, shes not gonna go for the DP, were leaving.. lets go." I'll get out from under the bed, look pissed off and follow you out the door.
<AVX 885> this is golden.. haha and I could just imagine her sitting there spread eagle on the bed with the most awesome expression of shock and awe on her face. I should take a picture as im walking out the door and mail it to her parents.
<sprtzntm77> ****, if we pull this off, it will be the best breakup scenario ever. She deserves it too.
<AVX 885> Yes, this is a warning women everywhere.. dont cheat on me, for I will seek my sweet revenge.


#4
Through IP relay chat.
Hilarious.
Get some monotone phone operator to talk to your girlfriend as you type it through a chat.

If you need more info on it i'll give you some examples :p
Quote by Hovertruck
You guys are forgetting the most important part of sounding like Alexi.
Yao Yao
#5
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA haha Giant Raven, OMFG thats so ****in awsome
Quote by The Leader
You know what they found in Jeffrey Dahmers freezer?
...Ben and Jerry (ba dum bum psh)


Quote by ninemonthmedia
if there was a metal jail, Metallica would be Pantera’s bitch



RIP Kurt Cobain
RIP Dimebag Darrell
Burn in hell Nathan Gale
#6
have sex with her.
whilst your doing her doggy style
pull out

and just ram it in her arse like theres no tommorow

im sure she'll understand
#8
My dad dumped this woman:
She got out of his car after a date, and he said to her
"That's it, we won't be seeing each other again"
Then floored it. She still managed to boot the side of the car.
#9
i was gonna say off a bridge...
but raven's is better....

and mine was sort of along the assumption that the "dumping" had something to do with rotting corpses
I'm so unique I don't even have a sig.
#10
the houdini. i thinks its called that. where you do her from behind facing a window, make up some excuse to leave for a second and get a friend to switch places with you while you run outside wave at her through the window. i ro ny
FREE-FORM METAL
#13
Quote by flavorflav
it's not me.... it's you.


Boom headshot.

...Which gives me another breakup scenario idea...
When you were born, you cried, and the world rejoiced. Live your life in such a manner that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
Kabir
#15
Text their home phone cos then it will be read in a steven hawking style voice
Quote by Virgil_Hart05
Beating the elderly is a big favourite of mine. Also, pushing kids over and kicking pregnant women in the womb is fun.



Right now we're called 'Various Artists' just to fuck over people with iPods
#16
Whilst having an "intimate!" moment shout "SHOW ME WHERE YOUR MOTHER LIVES!!?!?!"


Ross Noble FTW!
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#23
Shoot her in the head, execution style. That, or give her a band aid. When she asks what its for, be like. Youre cut! . I did that to my old girlfriend.
#24
Quote by JC13


Thats brilliant.
Brad Delp - June 12, 1951 to March 9, 2007 R.I.P
#25
I think we could all learn a lesson for Eric Cartman on letting people down gently.

Cartman:Well, I'm glad you guys all agree. And so, Kyle, I just wanna say that it's been really great, and we're gonna miss you. And even though it didn't quite work out, I'm sure you'll find other friends down the road, Kyle. Here's a nice watch for you, and some peanuts.
#26
Right, pick up your girlfriend, right, and throw her out a window.
There you go. Your dumped. And in prison.
#27
dude you should go over to her house and give her brownies and a movie and just leave saying you gotta go somewhere. then while shes watching the movie eating the brownies, right after the movie is over record you getting a blowjob by her best friend, then cumming in the brownie mix.

and in the end it should say, " SO LONG BITCH "

or something like that.
#29
Quote by GiantRaven


That's why you're my favorite UG'er along with kensai
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#30
Quote by doggy_hat
I have a friend who asked a black girl out. and 2 days later he called her up. Conversation was something like the following.

TJ: "I'm breaking up."
Black girl: "Why?"
TJ: "Because your a n**ger!"
*Hangs Up*


#31
I had this girlfriend a couple years ago when I was in high school... great girl but clingy as HELL. It was nice for a while, but when it got to the point where she'd call me 6 or more times in a day I started to get fed up. So one night after an especially long and irritating day at work (I worked the toys r us service deck that november/december) she called me for the 8th time that day. I was cocked off my ass and stoned as hell when I answered the phone. She was all "hey how are you are you going to come see me etc etc" (ihadn't seen her for two days cos she was bothering me so much). It was short and vicious.

"Bitch, I'm tired of your 99-cent dime store pussy! Why the **** are you calling me so much?! Do I LOOK like a chinaman to you?? Are we joined at the hip?! When the **** are you going to leave me alone and let me have some ****ing peace?!" It turned into a ten minute tirade with me just utterly ripping into her. I tore the bitch apart... The saddest part is that 1) She was a virgin when we started going out, and B ) I was her first boyfriend.. ever. I was the first dude she even kissed.

Yeah, after about 2 years the guilt finally set in. I feel like a total douchebag for it now, but past is past I guess...
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