#1
This is a song that i wrote to some music that my friends put together. its called When All Else Fails.

If you come by tonight
please dont start a fight.
Give me a chance to say
why its better this way.
You always come to me
bringng me all your needs
Leave me no room to breath
You suffocate me.

You buried my heart
And now ive got to go
Your self destructive nature
Has left you alone

(Writers Block)

All critique and suggestions are appreciated.
To live alone we must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle, leaving out the third case: One must be both, a philosopher.
-Freidrich Nietzsche

-The Candle Burns At Both EndsX=X
#2
amasing how this text resembles my girlfriend.
for me, this one's extra special
it's a honest text, but still it's with emotion,
maybe the last verse needs a little bit tweaking, not much
but keep the idea of: "Your self destructive nature/Has left you alone"

good job

Crit mine if you have the time and power

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544279

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544812

thanks
#3
Quote by KotsPis
amasing how this text resembles my girlfriend.
for me, this one's extra special
it's a honest text, but still it's with emotion,
maybe the last verse needs a little bit tweaking, not much
but keep the idea of: "Your self destructive nature/Has left you alone"

good job

Crit mine if you have the time and power

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544279

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544812

thanks

thanx for the comment ill b sure to chkout your songs
To live alone we must be a beast or a god, says Aristotle, leaving out the third case: One must be both, a philosopher.
-Freidrich Nietzsche

-The Candle Burns At Both EndsX=X
#4
Quote by delano73527
This is a song that i wrote to some music that my friends put together. its called When All Else Fails.

If you come by tonight
please dont start a fight.
Give me a chance to say
why its better this way.
<<<<<< put a space in between these to make it 2 verses

You always come to me
bringng me all your needs
Leave me no room to breath
You suffocate me.
for the last line just put " suffocating me"

You buried my heart
And now ive got to go
Your self destructive nature
Has left you alone
this is good but you should write 1 more verse to finish it off, or put in a solo

(Writers Block)

All critique and suggestions are appreciated.


it was pretty good...flowed pretty good

Crit Mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=544519
My Music
Quote by x_themetalfan_x
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fender stratocaster american deluxe SSS(s1)
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