#1
Its not done yet, but heres a song ive been working on. I expect to growl it all very fast, and I felt that it needed to rhyme alot, to make it flow better. I hope you guys can get a clear picture of what is going on in the song. Crit for crit will do! Any crit and comments will be greatly appreciated!


Domination, exploitation, desecration of your temptation.
Terror station, fabrication, unintended annihilation.
You're bleeding and pleading, but im not done feeding,
Your extreme face of terror reflects trial and error.
Your misleading squealing brings me joy while im eating,
Not what you had hoped, was it, pain bearer?

Fearing your fears, and smearing your tears,
I'm hearing some cheering, in the back of my mind.
Sneering and nearing, without interfering,
My small audience watches, whislt unconfined.
#2
Dude thats badass. Growling it really fast like you said worked spectacularly. Awesome. Nothing at all was wrong!

Hey if you got a couple of minutes, would you mind reading my story? I dont particularly want or need any actual critiques, I just would like someone to read it and tell me what they think. https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=545817
#3
kinda sounds like medication by queens of the stone age but theyre still pretty good