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#1
basically ive been in love with this guy for a little while now, and he likes me back. hes been knowingly bisexual for about 2 years, but also hes christian. over the past two days he's come to the decision that he's hypocritical to be bisexual and is considering supressing it for the rest of his life, for the sake of religion. he says he has 1 of two options. either he'll be allowed a re-baptism, or he'll be exiled from the church.

i have no idea what to do or say to him to help him see some logic.

any suggestions? flamers = welcome, btw. i need a laugh.
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#2
Quote by x X t o c z.
any suggestions? flamers = welcome, btw. i need a laugh.


Too bad the church doesn't see it that way! =D

Edit: But seriously, it's all up to him. He either has to change his religion or his sexual orientation. It's tough but that's what it comes down to.
Last edited by Leonheart at Mar 16, 2007,
#3
well my moms family is hardcore christian and so was my mom and shes a lesbian i dont see why tellh im to be himself and follow his heart they are other churches out there with open arms
#6
Yeesh, that's rough man. I don't really know what to tell you, and I'm not the kind of person who goes shoving his beliefs down other people's throats. Fair fucks to him if he's willing to pursue a life of celibacy, but this really sounds like something you need to work out between the two of you. If he feels that he has to go through with this though, I'd suggest that you try and move on from him. I know from personal experience that holding on to a memory of an old love can really screw you up inside.

EDIT: V Looking at that, I really think you may have to let him go.
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Last edited by CaptainWow at Mar 16, 2007,
#7
Quote by daytripper75
youre flaming it up enough already.


maybe talk to the guy, tell him how you feel.

he knows. this whole debate was on msn yesterday. ill recap it a bit.

(17:42) I wish i would n: because you admitted yourself that what you do makes you happy (until you freel ashamed, and the shame itself comes from your religion) and its so annoying to see you saying youd choose religion over that
(17:42) ! DAMMY: ergh
(17:42) ! DAMMY: you dont understand, trust me
(17:42) I wish i would n: its annoying to think of you going off me and all other guys cause your priest told you to
(17:43) I wish i would n: you're right dude
(17:44) ! DAMMY: to a religious person, thats their life, and it's my life. i'm not choosing to do it because someone told me to, i'm choosing to do it because i think thats the right thing to for me
(17:45) I wish i would n: thanks alot dude
(17:45) ! DAMMY: what for?

(18:30) I wish i would n: yer but dude, i actually do love you, its not like i say it for the fun of it, and its ****ing hurtful that it doesnt matter to you
(18:31) ! DAMMY: how do you know it doesnt matter?
(18:31) I wish i would n: you've shown in every way possible other than saying it out loud
(18:33) ! DAMMY: saying it matters?
(18:33) I wish i would n: saying it doesnt
(18:33) ! DAMMY: how have i shown it doesnt matter?
(18:33) I wish i would n: if it did matter, you'd give this more thought
(18:35) ! DAMMY: well i'm sorry, it's summut i'm gunna do, it's something thats proper important to me, not saying you arent important. but its a sacrifice i'm making. and it might seem mean, but it's really not
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#10
He can be homosexual and Christian. My Comparative Religions class once had two Christian guest speakers - one of them was homosexual and offered interesting insight into how he dealt with that.
#11
Quote by yawn
He can be homosexual and Christian. My Comparative Religions class once had two Christian guest speakers - one of them was homosexual and offered interesting insight into how he dealt with that.

wow, really? how?
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#12
It's simply celibacy. If you're Catholic (sticking with what I know), it's not bad to be homosexual. It is sinful, however, to practice homosexuality.

Famous example: Michaelangelo. He was gay. The Pope knew it, and still thought that he was a cool guy. Michaelangelo was (mostly) celibate his whole life, even though he had a boyfriend, and wrestled with the disconnect his homosexuality and his faith created.

Your friend can be bisexual and still be Christian. The only problem is that you guys won't be able to consummate your feelings for one another without problems arising.

Sorry, I really seem to be hindering more than helping right now...
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Last edited by CaptainWow at Mar 16, 2007,
#13
does that include things like kissing?
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#14
Hm, this was a year ago when the he came in and talked to us, but I'm pretty sure he had a male companion with whom he "interacted with" as a regular couple would. I don't completely remember, though.
#15
I don't know, religious/relationship counseling isn't exactly my forté.

To play it on the safe side, I think kissing would have the potential to create problems, and thus would be a no-no. Like I said, sorry if this is causing more harm than good.
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#17
I'm sure you two could find a church that accepts different life style choices. you can believe in a christian god and still be "gay" or "bisexual". find a church that doesn't segregate people based on physical or mental differences. if he wants to embrace both of these important aspects of his life, faith and sexual preference, then he should be willing to search for a more open congregation. it's hard to leave a church, especially if you have been going to the same one since birth, but seeking out a more open-minded group of fellow believers can be a great, and probably the only, solution.
#18
Quote by MakinLattes
I'm sure you two could find a church that accepts different life style choices. you can believe in a christian god and still be "gay" or "bisexual". find a church that doesn't segregate people based on physical or mental differences. if he wants to embrace both of these important aspects of his life, faith and sexual preference, then he should be willing to search for a more open congregation. it's hard to leave a church, especially if you have been going to the same one since birth, but seeking out a more open-minded group of fellow believers can be a great, and probably the only, solution.


Going with this hypothesis, I've already found a good group for him to try out.
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#19
thanks guys. this is really helpful.

i honestly appreciate it.
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#20
You're very welcome, always good to help people.

And with that, I bid you adieu. It's 3:20 AM and I am tired. Night all.
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#21
night dude. =]
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#22
It is perfectly fine to be bisexual and Christian. God loves those who love Him, regardless of what sexuality you are. If that church wants to be anal about it (no pun intended ) then I would suggest asking him to find another church.
#23
In all of the Gospels, not one passage tells of Christ ridiculing, or his disdain for homosexuality. Nor does he say that if you're homosexual, you aren't loved by God or won't be rewarded in Heaven. Thus, if you are a follower of Christ and his teachings (Christian), you're good to go. Even if you're homosexual.

Tell him that.

Then again, the old testament says otherwise...but who cares - the old testament is Jewish.
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#24
as long as you're an honest and just person it doesn't matter if you're hetero, or homo-sexual. A god that would completely ignore the fact that someone is a good person because he/she is atracted to the same sex isn't a god worth worshiping. Also people nowadays shouldn't take everything in the bible so seriously it's written in such an archayic way that almost every thing is going to be missinterpreted, if there's a single careing god that exists somewhere then he/she's probably not anything like the christians destribe him/her.
#25
I don't believe in God, but from what I know of the Christian faith they way it ought to be carried out is that He wouldn't care either way as long as you're a good person. God isn't against gay people, straight people are against gay people.
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#27
now if i were that other guy, id leave the church, or find a more tolerant church to be in..i would feel awkward being homosexual and suppressing my feelings for that church. iwould stay with the threadstarter if i were him and find a tolerant church,.
#28
i think it really i up to how devoted he is to being "christian"

correct me if im wrong, but isn't being a christian following what the bible (ultimately God) says, not what you think is the best?

tell him to read Romans 1:26,27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9,10
#29
This is somewhat un-related, but it sounds like this guy is catholic, not christian. Don't get the two mixed up. a catholic can be a christian, but alot aren't. Either way, the bible (which both follow to some degree) clearly states in the old and new testament what God thinks of homosexuality. I'm not telling you what to do, but I think you should let him make his choice, and respect it. Doing (what you belive to be, not trying to force my opinion) the right thing is hard enough without someone trying to make you do otherwise.
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#30
just tell him to convert to like episcopailin

they care but they won't like "reject" him

(btw....i don't support him)
(just for the record.....)
#31
I've got six words to help you here...ahem

THE
BUTT
HOLE
IS
EXIT
ONLY!
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#32
why cant you be religious AND bisexual? im sure jesus wouldnt discriminate like that.

Jack my swag
#34
Quote by 1fine69
This is somewhat un-related, but it sounds like this guy is catholic, not christian. Don't get the two mixed up. a catholic can be a christian, but alot aren't.


I have to correct you there. I'm pretty sure the definition for a Christian is someone who believes in God and Jesus Christ. All Catholics believe in Christ and God, so they're Christians at heart. Being a person who is a Christian and attends a Catholic church, I can't stand it when people try to say that I'm a Catholic, but not a Christian. Anyone who claims to be Catholic but doesn't believe in Christ is neither Christian nor Catholic. Period.

As for the topic at hand, God doesn't hate homosexuals. I know some really "religious" people would have you believe that God hates homosexuals, but that's not the case. God is a loving God. He loves everyone. With Catholicism in particular, the Church is not against being a homosexual. What they are against is pre-marital sex--between homosexuals or heterosexuals--something most homosexuals engage in. Now this is where it gets tricky. Catholicism, or at least what I've read on it, teaches that sex in marriage is a great thing. So, theoretically, people could make the statement that if homosexuals are allowed to marry one another, they could have homosexual sex and it'd be OK.

The Bible says that homosexual sex is not OK. But no where does it state that Homosexuality itself is bad.

You should bring up the Bible and what it says to your boyfriend. Tell him that you understand his decision to be celebate, but that you don't think it should end your relationship. Explain to him that you're willing to still have a relationship with him, though not an intimate one that would go against his church. Or ask him if he'd consider finding a more accepting church. The important thing is to not try to force him to do something he really doesn't want to do, as that'll only upset him more. I wish I could give better advice than this, but it's all I got. I hope it works out for the best for both of you.
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#35
That's what I hate about churches...

Theres a church one town over from me that says "Gods Word says marriage is between one man and one woman"...
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#37
Uh.. Can't you worship god in a non-organized-religion way?

But really, I say love before stories.
#38
Quote by neidnarb11890
F*ck the church and their stupid homophobic ways. If God hates homosexuals, I hate God.


That's the thing. God doesn't hate homosexuals. Some religious people do, but not all of them do. I don't and I consider myself to be a really devout Catholic Christian. I have no problem with people who are homosexual--I believe it's something that they were born with. They didn't choose to be homosexual and be persecuted for it. It would be silly to judge all of organized religion based on the actions of some. The last time I checked, no organized religion says hating gays is alright.
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#39
Yeah, I think the Baptists are a bit more conservative when it comes to that sort of thing.
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#40
Quote by JC13
^ Except the westboro baptist church... lmao.

I really want to burn down that church...
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