#1
Eric-Lead guitar/singer Fook-2nd guitar/screamer

"YOU"

(Intro)
I'm falling into to darkness, your smile brings me to the light,
What have I done to be left in sorrow. I want to be with her but I want
YOU, what am I going to do. (Eric and Fook sing)

(Chorus)
You are the one(scream) fook repeats it screaming
You complete my soul(sing)
The one i want to hold(sing) fook repeats it screaming

(Part 1)
Why am I torn. I can't handle this.She's the one that makes me smile.
I would do anything just to see her happy. (I want to feel her warmth)
when will she notice that I'M SERIOUS. (serious)

(chorus)
You are the one(scream) fook repeats it screaming
You complete my soul(sing)
The one i want to hold(sing) Fook repeats it screaming

(Part 2)
What will i do just to get you (To be with you)
I am lost and being tortured (And you can only save me)
You make me feel 10 x's better (Without you my life is meaningless)

(Part 3)
I made a desicion, you played with my heart
Now I really no what you were about playing games with me
I could see she was right in front of me. (In my face)

(chorus)
You are the one(scream) fook repeats it screaming
You complete my soul(sing)
The one i want to hold(sing) fook repeats it screaming

(Chorus)
You are the one(scream) fook repeats it screaming
You complete my soul(sing)
The one i want to hold(sing) fook repeats it screaming


tell me what to fix ir if it is good.
#3
The Average emo screamo song. Nothing too great but nothing too bad. My only suggestion would be to make Part 3 a bridge and for the chorus after the bridge maybe change it to something along the lines of

"You aren't the one
You incomplete soul
No longer have your hold"

Hopefully that helps.
"Death of one is a tragety. Death of a thousand is just another statistic."
#4
Two singers is always an awesome idea. So that idea is a bit of saving grace to this. As it stands it's (as some above me said) the average emo/screamo song. Nothing special and nothing we haven't heard a hundred times over. Listen to some Taking Back Sunday (even if you're not a huge fan). Back in the day Adam Lazarra and John Nolan hit the nail on the head when it came to double vocals like that. TBS still does it, and I like it, but "Tell All Your Friends" is the classic. Alexisonfire does it really well too (and that's probably more the sound you're going for anyway) and I'm sure you can find other bands with two singers.

The thing is, if you really want to hit people hard with two singers, you can't just have one guy screaming what the other guy sings. They have to have different moods, different ideas. When you have two singers, it's easy to see it as a conversation on stage. So make it like that. Not just " YEAH! (YEAH!)" type stuff.

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#5
^ Depends on what hes going for. He could be going for a backup singer (screamer in this case) that just modifies the emotion and intensity. But I like your idea too. I always liked the thought of ideas being thrown back and forth between a song. Either one would work.
"Death of one is a tragety. Death of a thousand is just another statistic."
#6
Thursday uses the backup singer idea. Sometimes the lines just happen to overlap, or it sounds more effective if something is doubled over in the background with a scream. Still, it's only effective if you really hit it right or use it only once or twice out of ten songs. Unless it's going to be conversational, I say go for the Underoath approach: one guy screams, one guy sings, but they never really overlap like they're backup singers. It's one or the other and it's really cool.

Rock On
Newest Lyrics:
[url="http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=727775[/url"]Pattern Recognition

Short Stories:
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