#1
Hey everyone, this is a poem I wrote about my mom's friend's baby who died. I've got two versions here, the first is the original, and the second is one in which I've included a hidden message. The baby's name was Mason and he was born on January 31st of this year, so for the second one, starting with the first W (which is in the second word), count and write down every 31st letter to find teh message. I hope you like it. Any thoughts are welcome, just go easy on me, I only turned 16 a week ago

Note: For the every 31st letter thing, only count letters, not commas and spaces**

This is the original version:
Caught between the stars of hope and desire,
we find eternal beauty in your eyes,
The shimmering haze of your brilliance pulls us closer to where you are,
fostered in warmth,
We will never forget this bridge of broken hearts on which we lay to look toward the sun and become ablaze by your love,
Because as we fade into the night,
we come to find love beside our hearts.
Shine on, it is by you we are awoken to the reflecting light of Heaven.

And this is the second one with the message.

Caught between the stars of hope and desire,
We meet the eternal beauty in your eyes,
The moonlit haze of your brilliance, a trail, closer to where you are, fostered in serenity,
We will never forget this passage of these broken hearts on which you lay with us to look toward the sun to become ablaze by love,
Because as we quietly fade into the night, we come to embrace the love beside our hearts,
Dim and embody the spirit of the relinquished fear we once held close in our flooded songs,
For as they break the skies, nights of woe wake us to echoes of joy

That's all, if you crit and leave a link to anything you want me to look at, I will do so as soon as possible. Thanks in advance for any suggestions and/or compliments.
Member #11 of the Steve Irwin Memorial Club, pm Clincher09 to join

Quote by MuffinMan
Women: the newest form of currency.
Last edited by MusicHead32 at Mar 16, 2007,
#2
Crit for crit...
Member #11 of the Steve Irwin Memorial Club, pm Clincher09 to join

Quote by MuffinMan
Women: the newest form of currency.
#3
bump
Member #11 of the Steve Irwin Memorial Club, pm Clincher09 to join

Quote by MuffinMan
Women: the newest form of currency.
#5
Quote by PooKoo
no bumping. You've got to crit other people's peices if you want anyone to respond really.

Sorry, I didn't know. Yesterday I did three crits, I'll try again.
Member #11 of the Steve Irwin Memorial Club, pm Clincher09 to join

Quote by MuffinMan
Women: the newest form of currency.