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#1
this is my new song, its pretty chill. its about that girl you don't really like that is really into you, much to your discomfort.

edit#1: i'm also looking for crits on my new song "the not so sappy love song" its kind of like a pun song.

edit#2: and today we have another song "Baby Dry Your Eyes." so if you'd like to check that out it would be sweet.

edit#3: all songs are now available on my soundclick, which is in the sig.

tell me what you think! especially mention the bass if possible. c4c of course

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Last edited by chrisatgrace at Mar 19, 2007,
#2
thanks for the crit -

as i listen,

the drums sound awesome and the guitar in the intro is good but a little too bright on the tone for me

i think your voice is awesome, and the harmonies are sweet as well
nice sort of bluesy guitar over it all - laid back and mellow i really like it

i thought the end was a bit of a letdown, maybe add a little more of a bridge or something

overall i really liked it awesome singing and playing, just maybe vary it up a little more at the end
#4
I like the drums, but they dont sound real enough, maybe they could be tweaked a bit. The vocals are usually good but could do with a bit more power in parts, It sometimes sounds like you are whispering as opposed to singing quietly. I like lyrics and the melodies in the song, there's only a couple of setbacks.
The best thing I can say about this is that I think it is rather original, it's more than a generic rock/metal/blues song that usually gets spewed out on UG. Congrats.
May I ask what the setup for your guitar is for that song? Did you jack directly into the PC, or from the amp? Or mic? thanks it sounds interesting.
Last edited by NeptuneUK at Mar 17, 2007,
#5
Nice song. I liked the guitars and the drums, but the vocals sound a bit 'lazy' imho. But overall, this song has potential.
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#6
i like the clarity of the guitars, especially impresse since you home record... but yeah, the vocals need to have some more power man... and i think you need more bluesy solos too.. but on the whole, pretty darned good....
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#7
Hmm, the intro sounds nice but its a little too loose. The harmony guitar is too trebly and harsh, and needs to be "sweeter" in tone. The bluesy guitar is nice. As everyone has said the drums are awesome, it sets the track around from others. The vocals need work IMO, they're too breathy and the harmonies sound a little off.

Great work though, I really enjoyed listening to it.

Wanna crit mine? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=545043
#8
i really enjoyed it. i think the vocals were maybe too loud compared to the music. and it sounded like really 80's if that makes sense. like similar to the music in the movie kickboxer (van damme). still, nice work dude. =]
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#10
Like the tone of the intro. Drums sound good to me, except for the cymbals they sounds a little to fake. Vocals really fit well into the song. Overall its pretty good, really like the bluesy vibe to it. The only thing I think would be cool is to do something different with the vocals on the last part. Like put extra emotion in them or something. Good job.
#11
ok, thanks guys. for the bluesy guitar it was just clean with reverb on a jb 59' pickup, and for the one distorted bit( thinking of taking that out) it was just a mild overdrive.

do you have new songs?
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#12
i love the guitar work, the vocals are ok, lyrics could be better in my opinion, real mellow so i don't really get into it, but it's nice 3/5
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#13
Good instruments, but I think the vocals sound a bit lazy, unless thats the sound you're going for.
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#14
I'll level with ya - the guitar is absolutely ace, and the vocals are really great. But man - the drum machine totally kills the vibe! This song would sound so much better with either a simpler drum program, or a live drumset. Often, just a simple kick-hat-snare-hat pattern on a drum machine sounds totally perfect, whereas the one you're using just clutters the song and detracts from the power of your voice and guitar.

Sorry if this comes across as really critical - I did like the song a lot, I just think the drums take away from it.

Thanks for the crit.
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#15
i think i'll keep the drums since every body else likes them, but thanks for your honesty and crit.
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#16
i really like the ambient rock sound that youre doing here. especially good is the guitar behind the vocals, it seems like every note was designed with a purpose, not just thrown together. cool stuff, nice work
#18
The drums are really well programmed. Thinking about doing something like that gives me a head ache
The clean guitar is amazing. 10/10 for its sound and phrasing.
I dislike the vocals personally, I think they would work better if you sung made a bridge and sung the vocals like that, but generally I think they dont work that well, I wont recommend what to sing cause I dont know what you can.. just a suggestion though.

Overall very good


espeically the guitar
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#19
thanks al. i kind of wanted it to sound that way though. like a love song, but not about love.
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#20
Nice! I liked but the only that stopped it from being perfect (IMO) is the vocals.. I'm not sure how you can improve them but it just didn't sound right for me.

Very very nice guitar playing though! And the instruments mixed together really good though the vocals were a bit loud also good job on the backingvocals thing!
#21
I actually liked the "lazy" kind of slurred vocals. This was a really cool song. It's very bluesy. I think it might sound cooler with some more little lead things between the vocal lines. It's really cool, though. The drums don't sound real all the time, but for the most part they are good (probably better than mine - what program do you use?). I had listened to your other songs before and I liked this better than your older ones. Great job. Keep it up and thanks for the crit!
#22
i use acoustica beatcraft for drums, it is really easy to use. thanks for the crit.
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#23
This really is another very excellent song (iv heard ur other songs on a previous occasion)

Congratulations.

The guitar was superb i though, and everything else was very good. However, i didn't like the vocals as much, but i think this could just partially be my taste of music tho.

Anyway, it makes good listening.

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#25
Nice! Vocals need to be more powerful I think. Nice guitar playing! Drums are fine too
thanks for the crit.
#26
not bad, the guitar was great, the drums werent bad with a computer program, and the vocals were ok, really good keep it up

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#27
I'm listening to Artless Seductress right now. Loving the guitar! The drums certainly aren't too bad, but the keyboard is a tad overpowering in the mix at points in the beginning. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though. The vocals are decent, they sound a tiny bit nasally at times, but I'm thinking most of that is just from the recording. I enjoyed the harmony vocals quite a bit. Good stuff!
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#29
As I'm listening, the playing doesnt seem to bad, but you seem to have overloaded everything with reverb and synth. Everything sounds too muddy, and your vocals are just a hair too loud. It sort of has an 80's vibe with the drum machine and the home studio effects.
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#30
Quote by chrisatgrace
thanks. there's no keyboard though?

Is there something synth or heavily processed in there then? I suppose my ears have deceived me, haha.
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#32
it sounded good. really mellow and nicely recorded. i didnt like the vocals a whole lot but they werent bad. thanks for the crit.
#33
wow i really like this. reminds me of brand new at times. particularly a song called 'jesus christ.' perhaps you've heard of it, perhaps not.

i love the drum beat, although the actual sound of them is a little fake sounding for my tastes. maybe give something like ezdrummer a try?

also, your vocals. i really like how they sound when you're singing quietly, but when you bring the pitch and volume up they get a bit iffy. personally, i think screaming those parts would sound cool, but that's just me.
#35
the intro is cool, and i like the drums, very phil collins haha. the distorted guitar tone is a little iffy though, it sounds way too digital. The vocals arent bad, they have an erie feel to them which i think is what your going for. but they could be a little less monotone. there seems to be no rising or falling or anything like that throughout the vocals. or where there is it is very slight. over all its pretty good.
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#36
Not bad at all. You've got a bit of an interesting voice. However, you need to push your voice a little more in your songs. Generally, you've got the right idea about melody and harmonies, you just need to be a little bit more confident and hit the notes with more power at times. I get the whole feel your going for, but you can still accomplish this by putting the notes out stronger. The guitar in Artless Seductress was.... good, but at times I found some of the chords need a high point or something.... Just a bit more of an accent note here or there or something. The solo was okay, but again.. could have been pushed a little more to keep it stronger. Don't be afraid to play out a little bit.
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#37
Pretty cool voice, but vampire and a not so happy love sort of had the same intro. Not my style but pretty interesting.
#38
Nice tone and drums dude. Thanks for critting my piece. The lyrics need a little work but sounds pretty good. Overall thats a pretty cool song man
#39
thanks. yeah the lyrics, well, i'm not good at writing lyrics.
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#40
sorry i meant vocals, i think theyd sound better with a little more volume behind them or something, they dont sound bad though
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