#1
Experimental, it's for the Sestina comp.

enjoy.

Two Pair.

"I don't know, I think I'm sorry.
I..I, uh, I tend to stutter and babel
when I think about everything, you...
I don't know, I guess this was love...
Hey, I remember when I gave you my shirt
and you couldn't play your wooden clarinet."


"I never could play that clarinet...
And, uh...well, you don't have to be sorry.
...But...I think I still have that shirt...
And hey, it's okay, you know, I like when you babel,
Sometimes...I think it's why I fell in love,
Well...I think it's why I fell in love with you."


"That's really cute of you.
But don't beat yourself up about that clarinet,
And...I think the reason this failed was because of love...
Ugh, I can't do this...I'm sorry, I'm just so, so sorry...
If you don't stop me, I'll just start to babel.
I'll start talking about that dumb shirt--"


"Shut up about the shirt.
That was always so fucking annoying about you,
You could never get your fucking words...and...you started to babel.
And fuck the clarinet, it was just a clarinet.
You know what, between us, I'm really not so sorry,
I don't think I ever truely found love."

"Heh...love...
You looked gorgeous in that shirt,
But I'm fucking sorry
If I was attracted to you...
And, well, you always played this tragic melody on that clarinet,
I don't know, I think that those notes were what made me speechless and babel."

"Really, notes? Music? That is what made you babel?
I think you were the only one that thought love
and tragedy could come from this fucking clarinet...
And..and..and..You know I..I..I can't fucking believe you, it was just a shirt.
I can't fucking look beautiful in anything I wear, I know that and..and...you...
...I'm sorry..."

"Hey, listen, it's all just music from that clarinet, like my words are just babel.
I think...that I've decided...well,I'm sorry...but I don't think, that I really...well, I can't love--
You know what...fuck it, whatever, just give me my shirt back, it doesn't fucking look good on you."
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Last edited by Something_Vague at Mar 18, 2007,
#2
hahah for me that was perfect, both sides seemed realistic, and it just seemed to work for me. No matter what came next it just worked. Its different from you, and you need to experiment more. This is a reason to do just that.
Filth, pure filth... That's what you are.
#3
WHAT THE EFF??
That made no sense at all! And if it had, it would have not made much sense!
P.s. that was my ****ing shirt. He bought it at my garage sale last year.
"so did you do anything hardocore today?"

"yeah dude i went to the bathroom and pluged up the toilet like hardcore! water would not stop coming out of it! It was like eddie van halen was playing Eruption in my bathroom! If van halen was a toilet
#4
Thanks Steve, I think I will start experimenting more and more.

and other guy, you suck shit.
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#5
Pretty much a curve ball piece that strikes the batter out.

I dig.
マリ「しあわっせはーあるいってこないだーからあるいってゆっくんだねーん 
いっちにっちいっぽみーかでさんぽ
 さーんぽすすんでにっほさっがるー 
じーんせいはっわんつー!ぱんち・・・


"Success is as dangerous as failure. Hope is as hollow as fear." - from Tao Te Ching

#7
I dont want to enter the Sestina comp any more...

I loved the piece from beginning to end. the progression, along with the character developement was deftly done. It was a risk I think for you to take on two different characters, neither of which were completely yourself, but it was a risk that played out brilliantly.

I did want you to say something about the tower of babel, somehow, because I was kinda expecting it

damn good piece Matt
#8
I thought the tower of babel was implied because each othe characters don't really understand what the other is saying at all.

I was more inspired by the movie anyway.
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#9
I wasnt sure if it was or not. Because it seemed to verge on that but I wasnt sure if I was to take it like that or not, I knew it was implied somehow but I didnt really get the connection I guess.

either way; nice.
#10
Thanks baby.



Everyone needs to check out:

Tokyo Police Club
The Forecast
Coconut Records


^Those three bands are my playlist right now, and everyone knows I have the best taste in music.
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